永野Lea

Happy New Year

2012-01-01T13:39:00.000+01:00

Is wish everyone a good and great year full of joy and success! :) Let us all strive upwards like the dragon in the sky ;D

明けましておめでとうございます。新たな挑戦を求めて今年も頑張りたいと思います。今年もよろしくおねがいします！

Countdown

2011-12-30T23:16:00.000+01:00

have a good launch into the new year!

some questions.

2011-12-22T00:02:00.001+01:00

quality of design, work process, the result of it, quality of thinking about something.
Superficialness, deepness but also time plays a major role.
How much time do you want to invest in anything you're doing? would you like to get it done fast? or do you want to work precisely rethinking everything over and over again?

The question is what you are working for. is it for yourself, for other people? or for a special purpose?
It can also be that you loose sight of you original motive. You will loose it forever or get a shock when you are reminded if it.

Sometimes it is sufficient for people just when some design is beautiful. Not much to think about, no need for background knowledge. But other people then bother about it. In most cases they are the minority. Today so many people create things and sometimes it even makes me doubting about the special position of each person in this huge confusing everything.

But I believe there is one.

You need to be straight. Honest to yourself and clear minded.

mind work

2011-12-02T22:25:00.001+01:00

⇧I love this kind of aesthetics!⇧

woaaaah, this week was crazy. It was so great. Yes, I will write about things I do in my university. I was in a group consisting of four persons and we worked on a panorama projection.
I was very motivated at an early stage already but I didn't expect it to be SO much fun!
The last three days were the days with most of our work.

The construction part of the panorama was really nice and quite easy compared to the rest of the digital work later on the screen with three projectors. and I was glad having such a nice group. everyone did his part thus we were so efficient.
Most of the work I did was the projection on the cylinder to become a cylinder. But I did it not on my own. I couldn't because I have never tried such a thing before and I would have made so many wrong ways. So the really great lecturer of the course he helped working on this complicated projection... eventually he worked with me, or rather I was working with him. I learnt damn lot of new and fascinating and tricky things.
and most important much more or a motivation for future works. I don't know how to say. I enjoyed working with him so much, though I might not have been such a good helper but it was nice to share a fascination of an installation like that. I just loved the atmosphere of concentrated working and trying to do the best. his perfectionism was almost exaggerated, sometimes I thought it won't be necessary, but this drive kept the work going. And just for this matter it was ok.

And the best feeling was when it was finished of course. the more I worked and got used to this task the more I could work on my own.

besides all my motivation and fascination for some design things I felt quite strange these days too. It's like waiting for something. I don't know exactly. A little bit of impatience, a little bit of melancholy, a little bit of thinking and a little bit of excitement. Sometimes I ask myself if it's the right direction.
Also being pretty tired the last two days maybe because of the panorama work which were two and a half whole days of concentration. But I finished some things and the next one's are coming now. But again, as I have to start from the beginning I need to concentrate on content again. The last weeks I was just doing some production.

Waiting is not good. You should turn 'waiting' into working and try to finish so many things as possible until it comes... the thing you're waiting on.
But it does all feel quite stupid at the same time as well.

ah, and this music is in my head always these days.

新PVプロジェクト

2011-11-23T09:36:00.000+01:00

this is my new music video work of the old song Rosé Red by Julian Nagano.

It was a project where I worked entirely in After Effects.
It would've been much more easier to film everything on a green screen but yeah, if you haven't noticed yet, it isn't filmed in a green box or something! (the one and only reason why it took SO much time)

The main techniques used here were motion tracking, rotoscope and masking. And yes, it took hell a lot of time. There were steps where I believed this video was finished already but then I discovered mistakes on the rendering and had to reedit it again and again.

It was more of a sudden idea to take this video so it was outside in front of a white wall. haha. But I was so happy to work on another music video and I really wanted to finish this piece.

I learnt a lot of work with After Effects and of course concerning planning etc. I had much fun doing the motion tracking and seeing the results.
First the motion graphics were mainly 2D and originally I wanted to get a music video with 2D motion graphics. But then I discovered the potential and fun of 3D motion graphics embedded in the real footage and played with it. Some may say it would've been easier or better quality to get a 3D rendering embedded into the video but I am pro After Effects definitely and haven't much to do with 3D graphics so far (it would have taken even more time to deal with 3D). Maybe on later projects because it's interesting and I am fascinated by all the possibilities of animating with 3D, but I am not good at it at the moment.

I also enjoyed working in black and white aesthetics. I realized that also with motion I like b/w pretty much.

great thanks to Julian and his nice performance!
hope to do another project again some day.

a mess in my head and bilingualism

2011-11-19T20:57:00.001+01:00

yesterday I watched a few Japanese shows again. I sometimes do when I work in the evening. in most cases I do it when I have some monotone work to do, like I don't need to think about every step I am doing. So I enjoyed some talks and funny things and went to bed. I dreamt something strange. I cannot recall anything but when I woke up I had a strange feeling.
For today my intention was (and I successfully finished it) to finally write my internship report which has been past due since... uhm... I should not tell.
Anyway so as I like to write texts in cafes I went to a near cafe, hm, no, I actually took a two busses and the s-bahn to get there... but it's nearer than you might imagine! so... yeah, I went to this cafe and started writing on my laptop. And YES! I was completely confused when I tried to write proper German sentences. a few times it was so difficult and I felt like writing bulls**t. Like strange grammar, strange word order and I even had to think a lot about some vocabulary.
Felt funny.

hm, yeah. I didn't expect it to be so strange actually. I thought I could maybe manage this mess by now. And indeed it works better than ever, but not yet sometimes. Is it good or bad? Should I even distance myself from judging whether being 'good' or 'bad'?
Yes. I distance myself from it. I don't judge. It's neither 'good' nor 'bad'. It's just as simple as it is. In former times I used to think about it in a special way.

a few weeks ago I crossed this site (I think via facebook link of someone's wall..?) Psychology Today and found this article about bilingualism. It stroke me because I never read any article about bilingualism before. It was quite interesting but at the same time many things I knew about. And yeah it was like "reading... hm, ah, yes, indeed... reading... oh yes, I know this situation... reading.... oh yeah, this could be me.... reading... haha, exactly" and so forth. so little bit creepy.
but actually it's not creepy... it's just analyzing some features of people who grew up bilingual or grew bilingual. This I got to know or better say made me be aware of people who grow bilingual in adulthood by living in a different country than his/her origin. I know lots of people whom I would call bilingual as well though being biologically just one nationality. But if you know a language so well because you live in this country for 15 or 20 or even more years you can grow bilingual. There is no time limit or a thing like you have to know or be educated in two or more languages.

Yesterday I talked with someone who is 100% Japanese but grew up in Germany since she was 6 years old. She told me that she even finds it easier to talk German, though being educated by her parents in Japanese. This was the first time I met such a person. It's very interesting. She said in Japanese that we can talk in German if I like. But for me it's difficult to speak German with someone a. looking Japanese and b. who already spoke Japanese with me. :D
There are some special cases like a friend of mine who is German but I speak Japanese with him the whole time (that's actually because the first time we met we talked Japanese and it took longer time since he realized that I can speak German and me realizing that he is German actually... so it felt strange when we tried speaking German a few times... of course if the surrounding is just German we also talk German... but however it can be that he is simply just a very strange guy). And some other cases as well.

I know lots of people living in Japan since 20 or 30 and now being 40 or 50 or older who speak fluent Japanese, with accent but fluent. Of course there are also some who hardly speak Japanese though having lived in Japan for so long. But having an accent or not is also not a criteria to decide whether someone is bilingual or not. I think it's just the head thing, it has much to do with awareness. Some people say the the biological definition is the base of judgment whether someone can be called bilingual or not, but the term itself 'bilingual' has the word 'lingua' so it should relate to the language. Accent in most cases are a matter of early childhood I suppose, but not the ability of speaking two or more languages.

here are some introductory sentences of some links if you read the text about bilingualism further on->
- "I really should have kept up my Spanish";
- "I wish I could speak Chinese the way I used to as a child";
- "My German is going to pot".
in the text about Language forgetting

- "Susana keeps mixing her two languages; she's semilingual!"
- "Pierre doesn't know either language well; he combines them all the time!"
in the text about Intermingling Languages in Children

- "No, I'm not bilingual; I'm not fluent in all my languages";
- "I don't consider myself bilingual since I don't know how to write my other language";
- "I didn't grow up with two languages, so I'm not bilingual";
- "I have an accent in Spanish so I can't be considered bilingual" .....
in the text about Who is bilingual?

Reel

2011-11-11T00:22:00.001+01:00

music: 'Staple Stable (instrumental)' by Saitou Chiwa

2011 Copyright by Lea Nagano

finally, my showreel :)

Many things happened these days. Many new things. It's very interesting. I finished the exhibition and held a workshop. Both were two things which were very instructive to me. And it's a nice feeling get paid for something. "getting paid for something out of my creativeness and abilities" as someone said.

I enjoy university very much since this new semester. It's interesting to work with the people, really really great lecturers and professors (some also good looking ;D), wonderful topics we talk about and challenging projects.

Glass

2011-10-31T23:55:00.000+01:00

I am drinking some Japanese green tea right now. Quite nice working in front of the screen at night. Surrounding is very quiet, you can dive into the music.

This week I will hold my small exhibition in my home town. I am looking forward to how it will be. It will be no big thing, but it's a kind of project for me and I will meet a lot of people. Maybe some I don't expect to come. This will be nice then.

Then I gonna have to concentrate on few things. Actually I should have already. But my head is full recently. A little bit of day dreaming still going on.

PulseTokyo

2011-10-29T13:16:00.000+02:00

Next weekend there will be the 8.Festival des neuen Japanischen Films in my hometown Osnabrück where I will contribute a photo small exhibition. The photos are taken in Tokyo during my half year stay from 2010-2011. Everyone is invited to come! Hope you enjoy it!

autumn

2011-10-13T20:28:00.001+02:00

Mr. Ólafur Arnalds, what is your favorite season in the year?

I live in Berlin and I really love autumn here. and it fits too amazingly to your wonderful music.

download @Living Room Songs

1127h

2011-10-04T23:27:00.000+02:00

I screwed up my omelet today.
Listening to Girl's Generation.
New semester started toady.
Last day with sunny weather so far.
A little excited.
But it will fly away because it's nothing special.
Don't wanna sleep.
Maybe I should play Final Fantasy?
Haven't finished this.
But soon.

2011-09-27T20:08:00.000+02:00

So won't you save this conversation and find a better time?
Don't you ever understand that if it hurts I'll do whatever I can?

And if it's set in motionI'll watch it all pass by.

And leave the rest unspokenI'll never change my mind.
Leave it unspoken, leave it unspoken,
Leave it unspoken, leave it unspoken now.

"Unspoken" by HURTS

sunday

2011-09-18T14:00:00.002+02:00

loaaads of things coming the next weeks. maybe not that much. but something. the past weeks I worked on a new manga story and illustrations, website presentation videos a music video and a concept for a photography exhibition. Quite much if you sum up. But it's also that I hardly did nothing else. I actually wanted to work on my website, but it stopped because it needed much more time than planned and different things were to be finished first. I also wanted to start an etsy shop. the preparations are already done. It's just posting and crafting so that I have a few more items and not just three or five to start.

I realized that I need some basic things to create motion graphics. I mean, I cannot or it's quite hard for me to create some animation etc. when there is nothing given. I need content, topic, stories and at least a bit of material and so on. All things I try to create which start with nothing like a white canvas is difficult. But it's not quite much material what I need to get something started. It can be one picture, one sentence, one any thing and things will develop. maybe this is the reason why I don't make progress with certain things. something is lacking. or the other way around: I like working with artists. they have something already. something great in most cases. so, push it! and the most important thing: thus I like design. some things I do in 'art' if you can say it like that. like the manga thing, or maybe photography. But even photography is something not clear, it's in the middle because you photograph something which already exists. you are artistic in the way you 'direct' the scene. or you 'design' it... whatever.

night

2011-08-24T13:37:00.000+02:00

at night it is more comfortable to work for me. but I get tired at night.
this week feels like hell. positive and a little negative. positive because there is lots of things to do. things I like, seeing results, finishing something. negative because it's again bit too much. editing photos, translation work, drawing, video editing, storyboard for another video etc. strange thing is most of the things I HAVE to do. it's not an option.
I passed so great weeks with some friends it feels like a whole month. and when I look at the calendar it IS almost a month. a little more than one month left until my studies start. the final year.

where is the revolution?

2011-07-25T14:43:00.000+02:00

This video above shows a summary of the meetings of Tokyo officials and journalists and people from Fukushima. It is a reason to upset you. The officials behave like children. Just shut up their mouths and ignoring questions. Answering not the questions. Just repeating one statement without offering an opinion. They don't have. And so many Japanese people don't either.

The official said that he doesn't know whether the people in Fukushima have human rights. ehm, sorry... but what did you just say?! This is a reason to say that Japans politics is not a politic you can ignore or let them continue their way to do so without interfering.

I don't know whether they are told to behave like that or whether that's their own decision. But it's just ridiculous. And their behavior also show that things are not clear or OK. They would behave different if they were.

At this point my assumption is that they just let the Fukushima people live there until they're exposed to the aftereffects of the radiation through the years but are excluded from the Japanese society, politics and country itself. The affected people die away and something new will start. Is this the price the Japanese government pays for the reputation? But what reputation if everything leaks at the many ends of the internet and media in the internet and foreign countries. Why not in Japan itself. And why not actively?

Isn't it a reason for the people in Japan or Tokyo to be upset about the government? In such a scale that they would initiate a revolution? Isn't it a point where other nations, too, have to strict their measurements and say "No, Japan, you have not the right to act so inhuman like you do. This is not a developed country with democracy!"?

how mundane

2011-07-18T15:22:00.000+02:00

sum up.

2011-07-13T14:16:00.001+02:00

I know it's just bluffing.
You're tailored in another way.
It took much time and still does.
I start from an entirely different place.

july.

2011-07-11T10:09:00.000+02:00

I think writing blog appeared less useful to me in the past weeks so I didn't managed to write a paragraph.
In Berlin you have very strange weather. It's often very warm (I mean we're in the middle of July!) and it rains heavily once a day. It's not fixed at which time or how long. But at least one time. So you should better have an umbrella with you.
I am listening to Ayreon very much these days. He is fantastic. Or better this project. It deals about time-telepathy, consciousness, people from the past like a Roman, an Egyptian, a hippie are in quest of finding out what is in the electric castle and are confronted with the future who did an experiment on them. It deals about the end of humanity and rise of technology all wrapped in metal-hardrock-middle-age-orchestra music. Doesn't it sound crazy? It is, but great.
Today I need to finish a concept for a photography work. Fortunately it's not much still left to do. So I just need to get a grip on myself to write the words. It seems to be difficult for me to put abstract matters into proper words. Nicer to just draw a picture or something...

but what is it that makes you so nervous?

2011-06-06T21:55:00.016+02:00

I found some photos in my archive and recently scanned some of my negs. these photos are from winter 2009 to may this year. it's not sorted chronologically (sorry about the crappy layout of the comments and photos, but couldn't fix it +.+).

On the way from Berlin to Osnabrueck.

The evening we went to a concert at the Tempodrom

Crossing at the Ku'damm in Berlin, near Zoo

In the Berliner Philharmonie

Taken near Zoo

That day we went to Potsdam with friend from Osnabrueck

A man standing near the gate near Sanssouci in Potsdam

Japanese Xylophon artist Masayoshi Fujita...

... with Jan Jelinek

On the way back home from a concert.

Near the Berliner Dom at night.

Taken near the Potsdamer Platz.

Some backyard.

Garbage in the backyard.

Way to the backyard. Very typical in Berlin.

Some place to have a picnic. or anything else.

Rainy day at the Schoenhauser Allee.

Family relaxing near a lake in the Uckermark.

Children playing at the lake in the Uckermark.

Glass of wine.

People walking through a small forest.

Feet of a friend of mine in my apartment.

Window seat of my mother's apartment.

Preparing sushi portions for a benefit concert.

Girl eating ice cream in Osnabrueck.

J on the bed.

Teru and me. Photo taken by my bro.

"oh no"

Teru and J

First of May in Berlin, Kreuzberg.

People on the streets on the First of May in Berlin, Kreuzberg.

"Reich werden". 1st May, Kreuzberg.

The streets looked like this that day.

so when

2011-06-06T13:45:00.005+02:00

It's so sunny today. actually the whole last week was wonderful here in Berlin.
And also the first people start complaining about it. For me, in general, I prefer cold weather to warm but warm weather does making me feel very happy. Recently I also started charging my Japanese solar cell phone in the sun during the day, as I use this cell as alarm clock every morning. so everything turns out to be good, doesn't it?

Hm. I still "suffer" (if you can say like that) from my not-vital being since I am here in Germany again. I know, it's a matter of myself and me and I. Though there is really a matter of the differences between these two cities Berlin and Tokyo.
I do different things but I need loads of time. But besides I am enjoying meeting up with friends, reading lots of things (newspaper, books, different articles in the internet) and phoning sometimes. Last phoning with my bro was quite nice. Some people I still miss here in Berlin, I have to admit. And today I am also gonna call a good friend of mine.
I was just thinking about how much of my private life is published here.
Indeed, I haven't "blogged" too much the last months.

I love the internet with all its flow and information.
ah and I just read that the Americans want to physically attack the hacker, who act virtually. what a funny thing.

some small life coming into existence on our balcony recently. Thank you Momo.

DEAI

2011-05-30T22:25:00.001+02:00

How many meetings can you have in your whole life?
Could you make every encounter a precious one?
Is it up to you or guided by some higher power?
How many of your close friends or partners did you meet by coincidence?

Sometimes an accidental meeting can turn out to be a very important one.
How many of these did you miss?

Dreams by Faye Wong

2011-05-28T12:27:00.000+02:00

let it storm

2011-05-25T11:21:00.011+02:00

es lief die letzten tage ein wenig zäh.
aber irgendwie klappt es schon.

I made a list. always writing lists.
but they're good.
if everything works fine most things will be over until middle of july.

music by the japanese band perfume makes me think of tokyo. it catches the character of this city in some way. there are many different characters.
but I am not a fan of perfume.

may I believe in the accumulation of knowledge by reading having it all somewhere in your unconsciousness and emerging in a certain situation when needed? I am not a good person remembering every detail I read or said or experienced. But at least it must form something of myself, because I attain information and action/response. wished to know so much more.

je pense à

2011-05-20T00:27:00.003+02:00

coding, photography, inspiration, technic, technium, stories, relationships, manga, weather, eating, japanese food, robots, future, music, cyber punk, calendar, numbers, book, reading, black and white, writing, reliability, friends, intimacy, laziness, words, garbage, design, typography, openness, tokyo, cafe, science, sun, warmth, swimming, 50m, disappointment, ideas, encounter, sleep, video, etsy, name, shop, sell, money, work, conscience, water, boxes, weight, chocolate, food, tiredness, bones, waiting, anticipation, chances, bike, skyscrapers, shadows, impression, vacuum, beauty, connection, link, hunches, change, affectation, ideals, purism, insecurities, intelligence, self-reflection and a cup of tea.

Higai

2011-05-17T13:50:00.004+02:00

Dedicated to the people suffering from the earthquake in north Japan.
All the people who lost their family and friends but also people who have to restructure their lives abroad which affected their social relationships in Japan.

reference photo by
Ando Tsuyoshi and model
Tomomi Sea-la Yamakawa

---------------------
currently mainly scanning, coding, editing.

Alles Müll

2011-05-05T14:11:00.001+02:00

humans create too much garbage.
bad thing is humans too often declare something as garbage which is actually not.

Sonntag

2011-04-24T11:15:00.004+02:00

Welcome! You have entered the cranial vistas of psychogenesis. This is the place of no-time and no-space. Do not be afraid for I am merely the vocal manifestation of your eternal dreams.

don't have a scanner to scan my negs.
This sucks.

Doing something else instead until the scanner is fixed.

and I baked a bread yesterday night!

knock out!

2011-04-19T16:00:00.004+02:00

Can't believe my last post was the first one in this year.
2011.
it's april and many things happened already.

The last weeks I traveled to Osnabrueck, Munich and Frankfurt.
Good to be in Berlin again.
I miss Tokyo.

listening to supercell
eating smoked salmon
drinking chai
still charging the solar cell phone...

Usagi

2011-01-05T04:08:00.006+01:00

Happy New Year.
明けましてておめでとうございます。
Bunny Year. Year of the rabbit. In Japan you have Usagi everywhere. I like this kind of symbolism. I think Japanese often help themselves with symbolic things giving them energy to cope with every day life. It reaches from blood group distinctions to the chinese zodiac animal years. In the TV they say things like 「今年も跳ねましょう」meaning "let's jump"= like a rabbit. Stocks, selling, education, money, career and so forth.

2010 was a very good. I feel like having developed many thoughts and many things got clear for me finally. People around you and friends really play such a big role in my life. I suppose in everyone's life. But try to think about it consciously. Really. I wouldn't have become such a person I am now if I haven't met these people. Especially I realized in Tokyo. The last 3 months of the last year. So many things changed because I met certain persons. An most of them I like. I really really like. Looking to Berlin I also realized who I really like. People with whom I didn't have such a lively communication turn out to be so interesting.
I am feeling fine. Really fine. My only wish is to continue and expand this life.

And just do it. Don't hesitate too much. In most cases there is nothing to loose. If you do and you don't get any reaction, don't get down but try again. Maybe somewhere or someone else. People who want to deal with you will, who I want to deal with will eventually find the way in your/my life.

Keyword of 2010 was SERENDIPITY.

For 2011 there a things I want to do:

→ open a photo exhibition in Berlin
→ establish an Etsy account
→ get a job in the design/film/motion industry
→ visit a country in the EU I have never been to before
→ spend more money
→ write down every idea, inspiration, keyword (I forget everything too fast)
→ earring
→ read a book continuously (I have too many books I wanna read actually...)
→ enjoy club nights in Berlin
→ be true to myself
→ just do it.

exhibēre

2010-12-25T11:48:00.007+01:00

I think I slowly really understand the meaning of exhibitions.
I really feel inspired and also pushed forward. It's not just watching and thinking "ah, okay..." but you start to think about the thoughts the artist has. It's publishing, sharing and developing. Maybe it's just when you are also interested in design and that stuff (if you go to an art gallery, it's when you are a painter either) you start to think like "colleagues". Of course colleagues who have much more experience than yourself, the visitor (at least most of the cases). I don't say that I call me "colleague" to such famous well-known artists, I wouldn't dare, but it doesn't feel so distanced anymore. It's more like I learn from them, not putting it away like "It's too complicated for me.". Let's call 'em Senpai :D I thank them for inspiration. And that is what they want.

Influencing people.

Put them into a direction. Let the visitor think even when he leaves the gallery. Continuing. Developing. To build on it.
I feel the aftereffects of having been to exhibitions.

I am getting motivated again (if I ever wasn't since I am here in Tokyo), but somehow apart from my ups and downs it feels stabilized again. Forward thinking. Exchanging. Talking. I know much clearer what I wanna do, what I want to become. It feels stupid to have so many dreams and hopes and goals but it pushes you. And yeah, just pay attention that you don't get them out of sight. That's the most important and should be the easiest thing. This year am going to list my to do's for 2011. I think it's also good to put it onto my blog. Just to make a promise to myself.

And I don't feel lonely. I thank everyone supporting me in any way. It means much to me and I hope to be able to return it in some way.

Today I went to 21_21 Design Sight again (I love it, always so interesting exhibitions with such interesting and important topics) and enjoyed the Issey Miyake exhibition「REALITY LAB ― 再生・再創造」which ends tomorrow.

I love eating japanese sake and short cakes! *o*

Gonna go clubbing again tonight!

0.92

2010-12-24T16:43:00.001+01:00

in many ways, one of my most strangest Christmas Eve so far.

december

2010-12-17T03:54:00.005+01:00

Even this year I could keep up my tradition! *o*

2010-12-12T08:15:00.005+01:00

yesterday I spent the afternoon developing films in my share house.
Used the powder dilution Ilford ID-11 for the first time (before Ilford DD-X).
Cannot say anything about the results because I don't have the possibility to scan the negs. Just a very good contrast value, and sharoness I hope. But I suppose I will order some prints. I am too curious. So for now I used my conventional way of photographing them with my keitai in front of an illuminated screen. I love the analogue feeling about it. Analogue? you know what I mean... make doing something with the things available... see the results before something proper worked on. so the photography are of course different than the actual outcome... but. love love love *o*
I am actually happy that there are even photographs with me on it. Very unusual.

Really weird because I actually don't know anything about analogue photography. I could not tell anyone, all things I would tell are just impressions and feelings. It feels really strange how all does kind of work. I assume I would even get better results when really understanding things. Like "my favorite combination is film X at X ISO speed, with dilution Y, turning Z times."
But I will read and try to understand. Step by step.

Can't describe the happiness when developing, stripping the water from the begs in the bathroom, cutting them into stripes a 6 frames, folding the envelopes to keep them safe, and photographing them, inverting them in ps and then uploading them.
one more stupid thing: Need to take more photos of my people. loads more. don't care about the weight of the camera. it's worth it. definitely. though photography is also a kind of devoting myself to me, like thinking about my view, my observations. Every time when I go out having my camera with me I miss about (consciously counted) 3-5 situations where I could've photographed a nice scene. Really annoying but I believe that they will decrease when I get used more.

This week was really hard. Tight very tight down and a tight up. Really strange.

listening to Dredg. Haven't for a long time. Lyrics do well to me.

2am

2010-12-11T01:50:00.003+01:00

people talk to prove their existence.

someone who doesn't talk at all. does he exist for other people?

you say "I think therefore I am" but this is limited for your satisfaction of existence. It all takes place in your head. You can think of whatever you want but it's just something _you_ can be aware of. It isn't relevant until it is pronounced. Until it comes out of one's body/mind.
In the society people interact just with something they are aware of. If something isn't pronounced it's like it doesn't exist. So if someone just has a thought but doesn't pronounce it and people don't act on that, this thought never existed in the real world. In the isolation of his thoughts this person might think he was ignored. In his mind his thought is present like reality. But for others not of course. It wasn't planted into their mind, the thought, the idea, the fact. So people who don't talk or communicate start to build up their own reality which doesn't interact with the reality of other people, who for example live in a collective reality.
But there are also other things which turn up. You think isolated so you can concentrate. You aren't influenced by other peoples thoughts which might in a bad case be just a reflection of the collective, no personal fundamental opinion so to say. In the active reality (so the world which collects the opinions, thoughts, attitudes of the people) the strongest, easiest, simplest, mightiest thought/opinion/attitude survives, so trends are formed. The isolation, if you think on your own manages to prevent these "common sense" opinions which are formed in the society. It gives you free space to create something basic. If someone builds up an opinion about something and is in the middle of the process and talks to someone there are some options which might occur. One is that he gets a really great advice he wouldn't have come up on alone. Second is his thought which was independent actually is influenced by other opinions and overrides his own. So something unique could have been formed but was not because he encountered with something influencing in a conscious or unconscious way. Many artists or writers so prevent communicating with their environment when they are in the middle of their process. Having their own apartment, atelier, chamber. Third option could be being aware of something with a strong position, getting to know the other things and building the awareness upon all matters accumulated. Really great because it is a result of liquid networks. This is actually the most developed option. It embraces something which already exists and puts something new to it which was isolated. Maybe it will be even stronger than the thing before.

People are beings who communicate, who put out their thoughts and feelings and thus manage to socialize, work and so forth.
You either talk, write, post, twitter, sing, make art whatever. Everything actually you are surrounded of. A coffee cup for example. It exists because someone felt the need to put fluid into it to be able to drink or keep fluids without pouring. The mere thought was just "oh a cup would be great" But pronounced, developed and combined with handicraft of men it eventually came to the production of the cup.
There are many people who are talented, who would exceed many other artist or could compete with them on the same level if they would "pronounce" their things. But in the active world just people succeed who put out their things, who form relevance to their things. So youtube is a very new platform since 2005 which is very suitable for people who are "quiet". Some talents were formed through youtube which would have never become popular without it. People create videos (often just for their own sake) and are found. They don't need to care about the communication. It flows or not. Maybe they aren't even aware of on what platform they were publicizing their things.
What power it has.
It is easier to put something in the internet, pretending it's just you seeing it or your closest friends, but you are actually theoretically pronouncing it to all in the world.

Coming back to the existence thing-> in a physical matter you create audio waves when talking (any noise). It sends out the waves, reflects with the environment and comes back to you. It interacts with your environment, thus proves your existence as well. When you dream a dream which feels really real (lol), no let's say a nightmare which feels really real you wake up and often or sometimes I don't know you jolt by saying something or screaming. It is a struggle for reality. You want to make clear which of your worlds are real. The one where you get resonance from is the real world. Though the heart beat you felt and the tension you experienced in your dream worlds reach into the reality (isn't it fascinating) the voice which returns to your ears via sound waves just reacts in the physical world. Really strange if you consider your communication in the dream. When waking up by screaming or something it feels like the voice in the dream is suffocating. You realize in a fraction of a second that the acoustic you thought were real weren't at all.
The dream is colliding.
It doesn't work anymore.

last point for the irony: I was just thinking about why I am posting this onto my blog :)

broeseln.

2010-12-10T18:01:00.005+01:00

decomposing.

a sandy feeling.
loosing the materiality.
it starts with a tooth.
cannot stop it.
thoughts that are hunting me.
cracking me.
even here.

heart is beating.
waking up.

acoustic waves.

I apologize.

just twenty five minutes.

I will be fine.

The Railway Journey

2010-12-09T06:22:00.002+01:00

"train was experienced as a projectile, and traveling on it, as being shot through the landscape- thus losing control of one's senses"
The Railway Journey (by Wolfgang Schivelbusch)

oh.six

2010-12-06T10:28:00.004+01:00

are you able to miss someone when "living in a virtual world"?
sounds very simple and I guess it is, but I find not.

Imagine being "virtual". I imagine something like information. YOU are information. Nothing touchable, nothing haptic.

Spread everywhere. Omnipresent.

I feel kinda spread everywhere.
High tension.
On top of that having no voice.

Please someone scrape me together.

+.+

Hello, I am Lea...

2010-12-05T13:21:00.006+01:00

5th December already.

I am sitting in my part of the room I share with an other person. The curtain which is hanging down from my bed is shut half the way; I am sitting next to it. Behind me a large batch of clothes, some of them smelling of smoke. My desk is a mess, too. Everything I use every day just stacked. Sometimes I spend too much time searching for one item. Finally finding it beneath all other things. Books I am reading right now, my Ipod, cables, empty bottle of water, my Nikon, cell, pens, my electronic dictionary, a letter I missed to send this weekend, business cards.
Today I didn't know to what music to listen to. But when I started sitting here in front of my laptop I chose Olafur Arnalds.
It's right.

I feel like getting closer. Many times I thought I had reached this "thing" but it turned out to be not, I mean, it was still continuing. Some kind of thing. I don't know what it is. But it has a certain very important meaning to me. Maybe it's something I will never reach because it's something which cannot be reached. But the way can be reached.
I just know: in the end, I will find myself. What kind of myself, I don't know. But I can be true to myself.

I have to release. Set free. And it feels like I can. Step by step.

Bang Bang

2010-11-27T16:43:00.009+01:00

Quotation.Start.Go for a walk; cultivate hunches; write everything down; but keep your folders messy; embrace serendipity; make generative mistakes; take on multiple hobbies, frequent coffee houses and other liquid networks; follow the links; let others build on your ideas; borrow, recycle, reinvent.Quotation.End.by Steven Johnson

Have been awake for over 41 hours without sleep. Danced trough the whole night, drank much, saw wonderful Tokyo at night and day, met friends, went out for lunch, had amazing conversations, ideas bubbling, fun, and still don't want to sleep. But my body feels weak and I should get some sleep now.
The last event this evening, I just returned, turned out to be a very important thing. I talked with very nice people and I gained some ideas and self-confidence again. This week was very troublesome. Some things went wrong, others just turned out to be the same like ever, exaggeration and harmony. New people, nice people, horizon is expanding.
I thank so much the people I spend so great time with.

Ah, and black silhouettes of Tokyo skyscrapers at night are sexy.

first film view

2010-11-17T16:54:00.004+01:00

damn! I need a neg scanner!
and I need to develop all my films!!! now!!!!!!

Technologic.

2010-11-14T13:02:00.012+01:00

Thanks to the people I met this weekend I am emotionally overwhelmed. Really. Positive or negative? No. I just am. It's thrilling. I wonder if I can ever keep such a "status" in my life. I mean not the excitement but the way I am living here.

Sounds strange but I would love to go to Berghain in Berlin. Just go there, then returning to Tokyo. But the japanese clubs aren't bad as well. No, I love them. With the right people.

Saw a live event of my bro. So great to see him on stage just being in the flow.

So many thoughts again. Confusing. Asking myself. Doubting. Whatever. Happiness. (it's strange, I try to not sound too enthusiastically because it might feel stupid for people whoever are reading this... but I cannot write different.)
I am reading very much these days. Somehow feel the urge to attain knowledge about something which might be of a good use for me. Personally or in any way.
I went to some exhibitions last week. Exhibitions which made me think. Think about society, culture, technology, future. Also looking for a topic to write on in my final exam. Still haven't got any clue. Even not any clue how to combine the topics I am reading now with motion design.
It will definitely be a thesis with strong theoretical content. Looking forward to it. But maybe the leap from such a diffuse topic combined in or with motion design could bring something special.
There is still much time left.
But this whole thing thrills me as well.

So reading, reading, talking, talking, watching, observing.

Argh.

We're living in such a state of change. 2010. Nothing really started, nothing can be referred to. Imagine the world in 20 or 40 years. Omg, I am 40-60 years old then. That's too old!
Talked about my idea of a small sci-fi story today. Just a very vague outline. But research still have to be done. It's just the idea for now. The condition. Why the hell am I writing sci-fi things at all?! It started this year.
Definitely connected with my essay about "Serial Experiments Lain".
Would have not analyzed the anime if I didn't chose to write about it.
Would have not written it, if I weren't at this university (or maybe?).
Would have not remembered it if I didn't read about media theory.
Would have not known this anime series if I weren't watching anime xD and so on.

strange thing.

Life feels small and big the the same time.

so, many photos to come now. last two weeks?
let's start with some food.

accidently visited the Tokyo Midtown Design Touch in Roppongi. And guess what!I saw the real prototype of Prof. Ishiguro's Telenoid! How creepy they were.. :D It's supposed to become the "telephone" of the future. It's a robot which mimics the expressions of humans.

This woman is the person you actually talk to. She is synchronized with the telenoid.

small puppets hanging on the wall.

sunset.

small examples of the Tokyo Designers Week:

the row in front of the exhibition of Masahiko Sato at 21_21 Design Sight. Unfortunately it was not allowed to take photos inside... so have a look at the Homepage if you are interested.

Then I also went to Sensing Nature, an exhibition run by Yoshioka Tokujin, Shinoda Taro and Kuribayashi Takashi at Mori Art Museum.
Feathers imitating snow fall.

glass formed of such a beauty. time stopped running. water.

shortly after being astonished by purity, this thing.
keywords: model of oblivion, singularity of microcosm and macrocosm.

how about experiencing the forest like this?

not a bad view from the exhibition? 53rd floor by the way :)

selling melons. yesterday. in front of the station of Nakameguro.

and jump to the most recent photos from yesterday.

and move to the next one.

can't find any words for all this.

Long-Metrage

2010-10-30T15:22:00.010+02:00

a Taifun is reaching Tokyo these days. So much rain, much wind, and the temperatures fall to 15 degrees (note: it feels much colder when it is raining and windy xD)

looping the song "Telephone" by Lady Gaga and Beyonce. What the hell?! No, this song caught me. Hearing it in Shinjuku and through my earphones. Somehow this Lady seems to be an artwork herself. I don't know much about her, don't know if the image she serves to the media is her true one (who cares?) but somehow... you have to be so outstanding nowadays. exaggerating, lust, eccentric, ecstasy, mix, simple and memorable...

went shopping today. yay, at Lumine! First wen to ALTA, but it's a wrong cliental area for me. so I walked a few meters and came to Lumine. But clothes are so expensive. Talked about it with a friend, but probably Japanese people (at least Tokyo-jins) are not aware of the extremely high quality of everything surrounding them. shops, food, electronic, books, entertainment, education, infrastructure etc. It seems that you almost cannot buy something of minor quality (note: first impression, of course there are such shops as well). It's good... or bad. People work to spend money. Many talk of the "reward", thus they buy. What else is left if you work the whole day? Damn. it's so interesting. And I am glad living here. I also start thinking like this. TO be honest, there is no other way if you work 9 to 10 hours a day. I am doing this. And I am happy my "work" (actually internship) is such fun.

I start drinking beer here by the way :D Yesterday I bought myself a can of beer as "reward" for to tough week xD haha. And today I bought clothes. Damn this credit card. I should decline it. damn euro - yen value.

Tmorrow gonna visit the Tokyo Designers Week and the exibition of Masahiko Sato.
Hope the weather will not be too bad!

chinese dinner in yokohama with my bro.

japanese sweets.

my dinner tonight. mackerel in miso sauce.

shopping bag I got with my clothes.

特ちゃんぽん！ココロで鍛えた胃で全部食べきれました！

EVA's are attacking Shinjuku?! or are they gonna build headquarter there at Lumine!?

Oktoberfest in Yokohama!

Yokohama!

タヌキそば、友達と食べにいった、超美味しかったね！

Indian Food.. Naan as much as you like for free. 食べ放題。

best curry bread I have eaten so far! with nuts, pumpkin and maroons.

just some feelings because I am too lazy

2010-10-25T17:18:00.003+02:00

始めました！(えっ、なにを？会う人にしか見えない！それでも微妙くらい）

先週末食べ過ぎた！

楽しかった！

天気最高！

仕事はいつも眠くなる！

また、お弁当作らなきゃ！

グットミュージック、La Roux!

なんで帰りは毎日こんなに遅いの？

財布『→あれ、さっきまで現金あったのに？！』

京都へ行きたい！

大焼き食べたい！

洋服買いたい！

明日も早起き！

会社先の人達と友達になりたい！

眠い！

目を閉じて見えるモノ

2010-10-14T18:04:00.007+02:00

今週かなりヤバかったですね。
なんだか疲れて、楽しくて、美味しくて、忙しくて・・
研修先はだんだん順調している感じで色々やることがあります。お願いが来たり、打ち合わせを参加したり、フォト撮影いったり、後は自分のプロジェクトなど実行出来る余裕な時間もちょっとあります（今週はちょっと無かったけど）。

とにかくなんだかんだ楽しいです。

ひまなとき、夜遅く（はい、２１時くらいからです）弟と遊んだり、週末はいっぱいの人とあってランチしたり、飲みにいったりたまには一人で撮影などしていますね。

今日は翻訳の仕事をお願いされたある会社の社長さんともう一人と三人であってココで食べに良い来ました。
なんだかモダンな和風料理でとても美味しかったです。
最後会話をしていて社長さんもう帰る時間だといって（新幹線で大阪へ帰るので）先に行っちゃったんですが、二人でまだ残ってずうっとしゃべっていたんですけど実はまだ食事が出ていなくて三十分後に店員さんに聞かれたんですよね『お客様、お食事はいかがいたしますか？』・・。あれ？まだ来るの？

でも写真撮るの忘れちゃったですよねーっ　（バカ）

あ、そうそう。帰りに新宿とおってこのバンドに出会いました。『カケラバンク』という二人でやっているバンドです。歌詞がとても優しく、音楽がギターとパーカッションでとても上手でしたね。まさに最後this made my day!です。

今週末は横浜へ遊びにいきます！
日曜日は鎌倉近くに住んでいる友達のうちでBBQ！！
メッチャ決まった！最近いい天気だし☆

Actually I feel quite strange writing Japanese first and then English (and the other way around). But I have both types of readers so I will also write shortly in (my messy) English.

My internships works fine. This week I had many things to do. Some tasks, visiting a fashion shooting, visiting a CI shooting for a company (really impressive!! I felt like dreaming when I saw the setting, breathtaking), being on a briefing and working on the project it as minor assistant. But I also have time to do my own projects. Actually not this week... but the week before and I suppose the next.

Today I went to a dinner at this nice restaurant -> Wanofu
It's serving modern japanese food. Really delicious (surprise :D ). I thought "How happy I am being in Japan!" xD

On weekend I will go to Yokohama, probably with some friends together and on sunday... I'll have a BBQ at a friends house!! xDD I am looking forward to it!! (unfortunately one friend can't attend... ;______; )

ah, and this band made my evening :D -> KakeraBank

the gyoza are made by ME! they were tasty, though they may not look like that.

wanna eat any fruit cake? :D

the two pictures above are churches by the way. the concrete one is very stylish.

まだまだ

2010-10-11T05:49:00.002+02:00

わ〜い、今日もやっとまたいい天気になった！土曜日の夜中靴とズボンが雨でびしょびしょになった事も忘れちゃう（笑）
５時間しか寝ていないけど元気よく部屋の掃除をして洗濯もの干してこれから代官山方面へ向かいま〜す。

すみません、なんだかパソコンと携帯のbluetooth接続がいまだに出来ないので写真を移すのがちょっとめんどくさい上今日はこんな感じで。
最近よく料理したから写真見せたいんだけどね〜
また時間がある時に！日がでている間外行かなくちゃ☆

today is damn good weather! unfortunately I still cannot connect my cell with my computer via bluetooth so today there are no picture, though I took many the past few days.
Gonna head to Daikanyama now.

早起き

2010-10-05T02:43:00.002+02:00

あ、まだちょっと慣れていないのかも。
研修場にいる時間は朝の１１時から夜の８時まで。ま、気楽にいえば朝ちょっと長く寝れるし。
そのかわり夜終わる時間が遅い上友達と会う余裕があんまりないかも。
それだけだったら、ま、何とかなると思うんだけど。
でも最近気がついたのは近所のスーパーは営業時間が朝９時３０から夜９時まで。っていう事は朝お買い物する時間もあんまりないし、そのかわり夜いけると思ったらもう閉まっている。
何だこれ？

気がついたのはお米がもうなくなって昨日か今日買おうと思ったとき。夜は８時より遅くあがった上スーパーがもちろん閉まっていた。
今日の朝行こうと思ったらまだ店が開いてなくて、お米どころかお弁当が作れなかった。
週末にうんと前もって買わないとね〜って事を知った。

今日の夜ちゃんと８時にあがってせめてどこかでお米だけを手に入れたい。コンビニのチンするごはんじゃなくて。

ね〜
わざわざお弁当が上手に出来る本を買ったんだから！

Surrounded by

2010-10-03T09:50:00.003+02:00

わーっ、気持ちよかった！
今日朝起きたとたん、とてもいい天気なので公園へ行きたいと思いました。
かなりの距離を歩いた後やっと着いて草原に座り、日の光を浴びました。
とても暖かくて同じ気持ちの人達、家族などに囲まれてとても素敵でした。
街のど真ん中よりずうーっと静かだしとても落ち着けました。

今日は後で明日のお弁当の料理。

these pictures are taken in Yoyogi Park.
It was wonderful weather and I enjoyed it very much.

when did I become so pink?

2010-10-02T04:08:00.004+02:00

oh, some of my room mates don't seem to know the feeling of fresh air. When I finally open the door to the terrace to get some breeze of fresh air after oder 24 hours of used-up room air and air-conditioning cold "breeze" they say to shut it because it's too cold. what? we have 20 degrees! And it's not that I open it until in the evening, just for 5-10 minutes... o.o"
But the worst thing is the air conditioner is turned on the whole time. really. 24 hours a day. If I turn it off because there is no need to have it turned on (it's actually even cold sometimes), someone notices it and turn's on.
hm.
whatever.

yesterday my internship started. It's a great company. First had to get to know all people. But from 11 am to 8 pm is quite a long time. And you see, where is my privacy? xD if you meet people at 8:30 pm or 9 pm they have to go home at about 11 pm because they have to wake up in the morning next day. so the weekends.
I was quite free yesterday so I did some redesign of my blog. Still have to get some things fixed. I still don't know how to remove the border from the photos.

新ブログデザインはいかがでしょうか。
まだ完全に出来ていないけど大体こんな感じです。
なぜいきなりピンク色、ホワイト、になってしまったんでしょうかね。
ボーダーがボケている事でソフトな感じで。

最近は気温が暑かったり寒くなったりと体調管理が大変ですね。
一番好きな果物は梨。
一杯食べておかないと。

昨日研修先からの帰りに石焼きいもを売っていた車っていうのかな、がありました。
食べようかなってちょっと悩みました。
もうちょっと寒くなってほしいって思ったけど本当は食べたかった。
その車に近づけば良いんですよね。

たまに悩みます。
私はモーションデザインをお勉強して実際まだ何も出来ていない感じです。
もう２３だっていうのに。
アプリケーションを色々使用したりっていっても最近は編集くらいだけで新しい物は出来ていません。

ずうーっと日本に居たい。
半年後には帰りたくない。

Let's get there

2010-09-26T17:10:00.006+02:00

[actually wrote it yesterday I didn't get any cold :D]
Oh, I somehow lost my feeling for the weekdays. I feel tired now and I am on the brink to get a cold. At least a slight one. I hope the hot shower and vitamin C helps to get my immune system alive. It's rainy and cold outside. I walked through the rain with shorts and a t-shirt. Fortunately on the way I got a large white sheet just to cover my shoulders.
Yeah, I didn't expect it to be so rainy today in the evening.

Actually I walked a lot today. Since yesterday.
I visited a Motion Design Talk of the Tokyo Design Passport 2010 having Shane Walter, David OReilly and Koichiro Tsujikawa as guest.
They talked about their jobs and hobbies and designs and it was very interesting. They provided so much information and insight, I was overwhelmed. It feels like I am now processing all information finally.
I went home and that night I took the last train to Shibuya to go photographing Shibuya's "night". Why am I loving sunsets in the morning so much? Especially in Tokyo?? (I cannot remember I deliberately dropped myself somewhere in Berlin to take photographs. hm.
Anyway. It was so interesting. It was not just the atmosphere but the people who talked to me, and maybe, somehow too much. So many guys talked to me "Are you lonely?" "So you are photographer?" etc. Meanwhile I thought a lot about these situations. It's also a characteristic of japanese. It's funny.
So I provide you some photographs of Shinjuku in the morning. It was my way back home. About 6 am. Wonderful. I had the feeling of finally arriving in Tokyo.

This day I spend a day with a friend of mine, met my bro and we also went to a friend's DJ event. We actually left too early for my taste. But to out of three people had to go to work the next day... :)

Waaaahh.
Too much. So great. And so many thoughts. Also some thoughts which depress me (strange because I don't sound like this) but also very strong feeling of happiness.
Did I mention I love this city?

『東京はもうなんだか普通だよね』

なんだかあんまり寝ていなくて『今日はいったい何曜日か』って思った。月曜日。なんだか何曜日も無い時間が存在しない世界で過ごしていた用な感じ。デザイントーク見に行って、朝５時の渋谷・新宿をぶらぶら歩いて、写真とって、お昼にまた友達とあって、食事して、弟にあって、友達のDJさんのイベントへいって来て、ずぶ濡れ状態で家に帰って今コレを書いている。風は引きたくない。大丈夫。
これからもいっぱい。

東京大好き。

お休み。

my breakfast :D
朝ご飯

looks nice but actually doesn't taste good. chocolate in japan is still horrible +.+
おいしい日本のケーキ＾・＾いや、チョコレートが曖昧だったけど・・＾＾”

no words.

p.s. I feel stupid writing English and Japanese. I will stop it.

ホロヨ〜イ

2010-09-21T16:50:00.003+02:00

ahh, japanese beverages look SO great. and they have so emotional commercial.
have a look here in the CM gallery ->
本当に日本製品って飲み物でも何でもセンス良いよ〜CMも感情的。
こちらCMギャレリーです→
http://www.suntory.co.jp/rtd/horoyoi/cm/

Coolmint I know from childhood, and I think it even existed before :) But it's such a great design. You know why one of the penguins has one arm up? ;)
クールミントも小さい頃から知っているな。多分その前にもさらにあっただろう。このデザイン大好きです。一匹のペンギンだけ腕を上げている・・
here the homepage of the designer's office ->
佐藤卓さんデザイン事務所のホームページ→
http://www.tsdo.jp/

コレっていったい何のブログ更新だったんだろう・・

DoCo（で）Mo で良いから

2010-09-18T16:06:00.003+02:00

So I finally arrived after an almost 36 hours travel. Almost stupid I traveled from Berlin to Frankfurt to Dubai to Tokyo. But it was interesting. And if I hadn't take this flight I wouldn't have met a very nice interesting person. How about a sitting neighbor who talks about neuroscience, androids, anime, motion design, music and philosophy with you? Not much time for sleeping. I haven't slept too much actually. I liked the service of the aircraft company but in these seats I somehow didn't manage to feel comfortable. My butt ached. ouch, ouch. But I slept well last night. About 12 to 13 hours.
Fortunately the share apartment where I live is much better than the one before. Nice people, it's quite clean (I mean more than the one before) let alone the location. It's damn central. An I mean central. a 15 minutes walk to Shinjuku main station?? I still can't believe it, but at the same time I got already used to it. Haven't yet spent any money on public transport.

one photo from Dubai airport (sorry but I was too tired to shoot around the area, it's a very luxury airport, and oasis inclusive)
眠すぎてあんまり写真撮らなかったけどドバイで見た看板→

and some shots out from the balcony os the apartment where I am living.
後アパートのバルコニーから撮った写真→

this picture above is the reason of this post.
こちらの写真がこのブログのタイトルの理由デス。

Living here again I feel motivated and inspired.
Got a bunch of text to read.

メッチャ長かった〜３６時間くらいはかかっただろう・・ちょっと計算してみたんだけど。ベルリン→フランクフルト→ドバイ→東京、バカじゃない？多分に度々やらない。ほぼ寝れなかったし。いすがあんまり心地よくなくてお尻がジンジンしてた。しかしこのフライトでなかったら絶対あの人には出会えれなかった。ドバイから東京まで隣に座っていた人。ずうっとアンドロイド、神経科学、アニメ、モーションデザイン、音楽と哲学の話を出来た話がものすごく合う人だった。楽しかったな〜

今すんでいるシェアパートは前よりは良い感じがする。良い人たちだし、前のとこより奇麗だし、でも何より場所がもうメチャクチャ中心で・・新宿まで歩いて１５分だって！！信じられない。お陰様でまだ交通費も全然使っていないし。

ココでまた生活出来てとても嬉しいです。色んな物をやりたい気分。インスピレーションされている。後、読まなければいけないテキストがいっぱい。

and again: fuyaaaaaaaaa~ ヾ(￣∇￣=ﾉ

2010-09-06T15:41:00.001+02:00

deadlines verschieben ist das neue puenktlich.

2010-08-31T22:10:00.005+02:00

16 days left.

things I have to get done before:

- find an apartment
- develop 4 films
- finish the BO!3 project
- finishing my C4D work
- handicraft some boxes
- going to the dentist
- Neji-Text
- correcting my AE project
- meeting some people

hm.

後１６日。

出発前にすませたいもの：

◯部屋探し
◯フィルム現像　（四個）
◯BO!3終了
◯C4D終了
◯箱製作
◯歯医者さん
◯ネジ文章
◯AEアニメーション
◯友達に会う

・・か。

don't misunderstand.
誤解しないで下さい。

korean supper

2010-08-13T22:14:00.006+02:00

今日は一緒に仕事している方から教わった韓国料理ビビンバを作りました。とても美味しかったです！今年も日本へいったら美味しい韓国料理（焼き肉以外）を外食してみたいですね。明日の午前中十時に知り合いと会うんですけどちょっとガーリックがヤバいかもしれません。後ケーキも作りました。明日の午前中パーティに招待されたのでお土産に持っていきます。明日天気よくなると良いな〜

今日はかなりレジャーに見えますがなんだか疲れていてやる事もいっぱいありました。明日もパーティーまである本の設計し直したり、来週は独逸の親戚と会うのでチケットも買わなければいけないし、漫画も仕上げなければいけないし。。ま、色々です。

最近ちょっと自分に付いて考え事をしました。とてもイヤな経験もあったし、いっぱい勉強になった経験もありました。とても良い人たちに会えてとても楽しい時間も過ごしました。悩み事も嬉しさも皆私勝手な思い込みです。でも元気でやっていけます。何しろ後一ヶ月ちょっとで日本に行きます。それまで頑張ります！飛行機がとても楽しみです。旅行ではいつも乗り物に乗っている間が一番好きです。自分はあんまり動かないのに前へ進んでいます。自分がちょっと休める間に進んでいます。
今回のスオップオーバーはドバイですね。

Today it was my first trial at home to cook Bibimbap, a korean meal. it's rice on the bottom and different sorts of vegetables (and minced meat if you like) on top. I got to know this meal from a colleague and looked for a receipt in the internet. it was SO delicious! but it's also a very garlic meal, actually. Tomorrow I will meet someone at 10 am... looking forward to her reaction.
I also baked a cake today, It's for the party we attend tomorrow. I hope the weather will be nice!

Today was a little bit relaxing but I am also exhausted. Maybe the last days were little bit too busy. I also did some things today but also going shopping. Was good. SO next time I have to redesign a kind of book/magazine, finish my manga story etc. many things to do.

Mentally I did think quite a lot these days. some things were stressful, some were nice. I also met very nice people and enjoyed the conversations. And I also feel very relieved when being home. It's just that I think too much or too deep about some things. No, they're actually of big impact for me, but yeah, but no... anyway. it's just short time left until I will leave Berlin. I am looking forward to being on the airplane. I love the fact that you can relax and at the same time you are moving on. this time the stopover will be in Dubai.

Boni and Minus

2010-08-07T00:00:00.003+02:00

Tonight I went on this small concert where it was actually quite crowded -> Disk Session 20
It was very inspiriting and I enjoyed it. I'd love to show some photos here, but I have to develop first... +.+'
It's really great to be able to present your art in such a small space in such a big city. I admire people who managed to hold a small art evening, music event or can present their passion in any way on a small public place. It must not be a big event, the it will loose the personal touch, some things run totally commercially etc, you will loose control like you have a restaurant with six chef cooks. I thought about my private photography. Meanwhile I created two handy brochures to present my photography. The original reason why I designed such a brochure was to show my photos to the people for internships. I just wanted to mention that I do some photography though not my major and with no intention to do professionally. But it turned out to be a nice overview of my most precious pieces also for myself. I feel personally bound to some of my photos, I connect memories with a situation, I managed to rebuild the atmosphere in the scene in my opinion and so on. I don't want to do photography in a commercial way, or as a major business, but as it's a part of my expression (like animating, drawing, designing) I also show people these photos.
So with a few detours in thinking I finally ended on the vision of a small gallery I would love to hold once in my life time. This thought was already in my mind many months ago, but I didn't develop any thoughts further. But today's music session inspired me to get a proper image of my gallery. I would love to have white concrete walls, it can look a bit shabby... urban, very simple and no decoration. I would love to hang some prints of my photos on walls with black back-fold clips, unfinished but finished. My photos which are all in s/w would have large borders, the actual photo not larger than 210x297. and it shouldn't be a large space, the gallery. If it exceeds a certain size I would love to have an exhibition with someone else. no matter if painting, photography or drawing. Maybe it's better to have an exhibition with a partner anyway.
So, it's just an idea. But an idea which I will keep in my mind and maybe some day will be able to put into practice.
All you need is connection, connection, connection. So I should start making connections and using them. maybe I am already in it... I dunno.

one month and nine days.

ahhh, damn, it's yummy!!

2010-07-30T21:46:00.002+02:00

little bit drunk from the white wine I drank.
It was a fabulous meal! fabulous!! thai food. delicious vegetables, chicken, deliciously hot, and perfect rice!! *o*
I watched and analyzed the Wong Kar-Wai film Chungking Express. I would love to watch it in cinema. It's a completely different and stronger feeling I suppose.
Instead (no, no instead actually), now I am gonna watch the movie INCEPTION in cinema. I am so curious about the film! I actually don't know why... it's an action film with sooo many special effects, isn't it? but I am looking forward to seeing it. totally.
and next week I am gonna go to the c/o to visit the gallery of the Magnum photographers.

sorry for not typing in japanese, but we soon have to leave...

Animatic and Existenzangst

2010-07-23T18:08:00.004+02:00

this is an addition to the blog post from 31/05/2010. it's the final animatic.

このブログ更新は31/05/2010の追伸となります。Animaticです。いつかこれを原作にしてアニメーションを作れる様になるかな〜

hm. hard to say whether I will create a full animation out of it.

Kremlin Dusk Animatic from Nagano Lea on Vimeo.

my Kafka animation also finished, but I still have to correct something. so I will let you know about it soon.
ちなみにカフカのアニメーションも終了しました。まだ間違えがいくつか入っていますのでもう一回チェックした後に更新します。

currently working on a new short manga story. It's based on a text I have written the past 2 weeks. the story is about a woman who is working hard, paid less and thus having the fear of spending money on something she can actually afford. hm, strange description. main topic is the fear of one's existence. "Existenzangst" in German. here some rough chara designs.
現在短編漫画を製作中です。このに週間くらいの間に書いたテキストが原作です。内容は。。難しいな。ある女性が体が疲れるまで仕事をしていて、給料もかなり低くて、何年間も節約したお金を使う勇気をなくした事です。うわ、メチャクチャ悪い日本語だこりゃ〜ま、とにかく。テーマが生存の恐れ。。。うわ、まずい。誰か助けてーっ。こちらかなり簡単なキャラ紹介になります→

23, why not?

2010-06-30T23:49:00.004+02:00

kinda wasted a half day scanning bullshit. I somehow failed in fixing the options for a film scanner. I scanned two and a half film, making 1,93GB in three and a half hour.
hm. But the plan for the next scan is okay. I won't do any mistakes anymore :D

今日せっかくフィルムをスキャンの予約を取ってスキャン出来ると思ったら私の方がプログラムのセッティングを間違えて全部台無しにしてしまいましたT-T　三時間半に、ほんのフィルム二個しかスキャン出来なくて１、９３GBのデーターを制作しました。なんという時間の無駄でしょう。次は間違えをしない様にちゃんとやり方分かったんですけどね。来週、来週。

film hanging

2010-06-26T13:56:00.005+02:00

just a short note about this week. When developing films you need some time to dry the films which you developed and have to hang them (or you dry it with a dryer which is not energy saving). So the best location is the shower. It has the height that all the 36 frames or more don't touch the ground to get dirty etc.

フィルム現像後フィルムを乾かさないといけないので普段はどこか位置の高いところから下げておくのが一番です。それが有効に出来る場所がシャワーです。ドライヤーを使っても良いけれどエネルギーの無駄になります。シャワーでは高さが良いので底に触れて汚れる危険もありません。こんな感じですー＞

But what about when you have to take a shower???
I needed a solution for that and decided to take our clotheshorse to dry them. It needed some reconstruction but it worked!
looked like this->

しかし自分がシャワーを浴びたい時はどうすれば良いのでしょう？その際私は洗濯物を干す『アレ』を使います。ちょっと洗濯物とフィルもの使い方が別なので組み立て直してこんな感じになりましたー＞

and this object was necessary so that the clotheshorse didn't run in.
間に挟んである物は洗濯干しが安全に立つ様にです。

no milk today

2010-06-22T11:57:00.003+02:00

先週末友達と遊んでブランチ食べにいったり、また別の友達とギョウザパーティーをやって食べ過ぎて今週入ってから食欲が全くないです。

やっと大学でフィルムのスキャンが出来てこれから本番ですね。今日、明日、あさってフィルムを現像します。

後、村上春樹が書いた『海辺のカフカ』の本に付いて大学のモーションビデオを作ろうと思います。この本の読者に対して質問が何個かあるので次のブログの更新に情報が来るでしょう。

くず餅もらいました！本当に有難うございます！

These days I definitely ate to much. Some friends were visiting us and we went for brunch and also had a gyoza-party. very yummy :) But because of this I don't feel like eating at all. Somehow these two days I didn't eat much and I feel like my stomach shrinking.

Finally I managed to scan at university. Haha... 'tis so difficult to catch a person to give you an introduction. So I will develop the coming days (last week I couldn't).

I decided to create a motion animation about the book "Kafka on the Shore" written by Murakami Haruki. As I am still gathering information and impresions about this book I will ask some people who have read this book. In the next post I will post some question to answer.

see you soon.

I shouldn't forget my keys.

2010-06-08T11:38:00.004+02:00

I feel recovered lately. I had some sessions of playing FFXIII (still feeling the need to continue playing). I cannot play longer than about 4 hours. But the RPG system is so well done in my opinion that I want to play it every day. Even now! But there are few things I have to have done.
I got one commission I am working on right now. Right, Light?

Light: haha, yes.

You look so cute again, today *o*

I watched some Sailor Moon again. It's recovery for me! I philosophized about this Anime again. In fact we're all Sailor Soldiers. haha.

Light: So I am Sailor.. Star... Light?

Last week I worked four days in a row because two projects were finished. I wasn't bad, I fully concentrated on that and could get my mind free, tried to get my mind free of pressure. Actually it worked somehow because I was too tired to work on something apart from the commission, which is drawing and is not a big thing. But it steals much of my spare time. What could I've done if I didn't need to work?

I miss Japan.

Light: You'll soon get there again. You planned to go there.
Yeah. By the way I have to plan some bureaucratic things about this matter as well. I shouldn't forget.
Light: Right.
Little bit excited again :D Not about the bureaucratic thing though.

This week I will also (hopefully eventually) be able to use the scanner at university. When I looked into the room I saw a 35mm Nikon scanner on the table... maybe it's this machine? Nikon makes good (and expensive) equipment... But then I finally start me developing +.+ ah, it all takes so much time because I want to do so many things...

This weekend I will be in my home town again.

なんだかんだと言って最近はちょっとエネルギーを回復出来る様になりました。はい、週末など新ゲーム（もうそんなに『新』ではないかもしれないけど）ファイナルファンタジーXIIIのゲームをしました。楽しいですね！本当にはまりました。今もやりたい感じです。ゲームする時はたいてい四時間位が長くてですね。でもそれよりいっぱいやる事があるし。たとえば最近依頼を一つ受けました。ねぇ、ライト？

ライト：そうそう。

今日もまたメチャクチャ可愛いね☆

昨日もまたセーラームーンにはまりました。ちょっとそのアニメに付いて哲学的な考えも行って。実は私たち皆セーラー戦士なんですよね。

ライト：じゃあボクは、セーラー。。スター。。。ライト？

先週四日連続でバイトはいっていました。ちょっと疲れましたね。でも頭がさっぱりしてこれからまた仕事が進む様になりました。バイトあがった夜はもう疲れていて眠くてすぐ寝ちゃったんですけど依頼の仕事だけはちょっと進みました。イラストを隠し事だから楽勝なんですよね。でもバイトもスペアタイムがなくなるから。もしバイトをしなくていい生活だったら何を全部出来ているだろう。
たとえば抹茶シフォンを作っていたり。あはは、また食べ物なんですけどね。でも作りたいと思います！必ず作ります！

日本恋しいです。

ライト：行くんでしょう？
うん、行くよ。それについてまだちょっと手間かかる官僚的な事もやらないと行けないけど。
ライト：そうだね。
ちょっと楽しみ。日本がね。

今週はやっと大学でネガティブをスキャン出来るチャンスが出来るみたいで楽しみです。大学でとても質の良い機会があるようで。それが出来ればこれから２月３月のフィルムを全部現像出来ますね。楽しみです〜

今週末は実家に戻ります。

Three stills

2010-05-31T12:09:00.004+02:00

昨夜の睡眠時間：およそ２時間。今午後の１２時になりまだ眠くないです。今大学に居て隣の人たちが寝ている姿を見ました。
多分私は後２時間くらいでテーブル脳絵で寝ちゃうでしょう。今日はアニマティック、宇多田さんのKremlinDuskの初期段階を終了しました。この週末土･日を最後のシーンなどを決めたり、後三枚のスチル写真を描きました。

これがなんと、ほんの三枚なのに絵のスタイルが決まっていない上１５時間くらいかかりました。実は実際絵を完成する為には６時間くらいしか必要なくて残りの９時間はただ色んな絵を描いてみたり、色を選んだり、絶望的な状況になっていました。

そのピンチに彼がいなかったら私はどうしていたのでしょう。とても助かりました。そしてどうも有難うございました。申し訳ございませんでした。有難うございました。
夜中の三時まで一緒に絵を描いて作ってやっと終了しました。別にそんな長い１５時間を使用した事を弁明はしないでしょう。でも嬉しいです。

先週からFFXIIIのゲームを出来る様になったので、今日からちょっとチルします！
しかも今日は彼のお誕生日なのに。ケーキ、ケーキ☆

so, 2 hours of sleep. I didn't expect that, really. I thought I would be quite well working doing my animatics. Actually the animatic was not the big thing. it even just needed 20 minutes to render. But the film stills! The film stills!

I worked about 15 hours just to finally have the clue in which style I want to have them. Yeah, it was all to diffuse that I couldn't make out an animation style. Actually it took just about 6 hours to create the stuff, but 9 hours in which I jumped between so many different animation styles, coloring styles.

And if my boy-friend was not by my side I would've been deadly desperate (I actually was already) but he was so patient, so helpful. I thank him. And I am so sorry. and it was so helpful. And thank you.

I am now at university. I had my presentation and it was... good actually. I am always afraid that nobody can understand my stories... but it was ok. Even one critique was rejected by the lecturer because of the fact that it's an music video. phew.

At home I will relax now. Just relax and eat and play the game FXIII!! muhahaha.
and today is his birthday!! yay, yay!

mini puzzle

2010-05-02T21:41:00.004+02:00

150 pieces. 40 minutes!
it took me so long to finish this mini puzzle! I love these Heidi animation!

１５０のピース。このミニパズルを解くまで４０分！
低燃費少女ハイジは最高ですね〜★

my personal manager

2010-05-02T10:23:00.003+02:00

may I introduce my personal manager: Light!

me: aaah, Light, you're so cute!!! xDDD

Light: ^^" hey, I am not your cuddle toy. I am here to help you.

me: argh... ah, so... many things going on?

Light: oh yeah, I got a few things to organize. two things we just finished but there are some things which you have to tackle soon. Better now, so you don't get in trouble.

me: oh yes, I don't want to have too much stress this time. Thank you so much for organize!

Light: Don't worry. We will manage it. So what are you doing here? Let's start with the first photos and afterwards your script and storyboard.

me: Okay!

本日ご招待いたします：パーソナルマネジャー　ライト！
メチャクチャ可愛いじゃん！！

ライト：おいおい、ボクは可愛がれるんじゃなくておまえを助けるんだろう？

あぁ、ごめん。そうだよね！頑張ろうね！

ライト：そうそう。最近仕事が墓撮っているじゃないか。そういう感じだよ。でもまだまだこれからだからね。今のうちに次のプロジェクトを取り込んで後から急がしすぎてマヒにならない様に。

そうだね、今年の２月３月なんか酷かったよね。頑張ります！

ライト：ご心配なく。その為にボクは居るんだから。ほら、何をしている？早速始まろうじゃないか。スキャンした写真で始めよう。その後アニメーションのスクリプトと絵コンテだよ！

了解！

indeed, a little bit strange to talk to yourself like this. It can be analyzed on a very psychologic level, I think :)

ココでちょっと気づいたんですけどちょっと英語で書いてその後日本語に訳すなんてちょっと。。アレですよね。しかも一人言なので。ま、ちょっと面白そうじゃ無いって思って。でこのライトのミニフィギュアは本当に可愛らしくて（＾∀＾）

first film

2010-04-27T23:18:00.003+02:00

今日初のフィルムを家で現像しました。東京とシチリアで撮った写真を上手に現像できる為の練習です。
まだネガをスキャン出来る機械を持っていないので今はこんな状態でスナップショットのキャノンイクシーで写真を撮ってみました。撮った写真はPSでなんて言うんですか『invert』して、明暗を編集しました。
最終的に初めて現像したフィルムの質がどうなのかはスキャンしてみないと分かりませんね。
楽しみです。
結果の予知かこちらになります。

Today I developed my first film on my own. It's so exciting :)
I don't have any negative scanner yet so I just took photos of the roll on my light table and then inverted the photo in PS. I also had to correct the contrast as it was very low-contrast. I hope it is just because I photographed from the light table and only with my snapshot canon. I am pretty looking forward to see the correct result.
But the photographed pictures are so nice (yeah, they look so analogue!! haha) I wanted to share here.

it's sunday

2010-04-25T09:52:00.003+02:00

ただいま、起きたばかりです。平日は雨が降っていたり、寒くて、水曜日は雹まで降っていたのに週末の土･日は意外に暖かくやっと『春ですね〜』ってみたいな感じです。今週はとても時間がすっ飛んだかの様にもう日曜日になってしまいましたね。何をやっていたのか。何を出来たのか。いつも考える。
これから忙しくなるはずなのですが私自体まだエンジンがかかっていないっていうか。まぁ、準備中って所ですかね。来週の火曜日はフィルム現像を目標します。まだあんまり詳しく無いのでせっかくの東京とシチリアで撮ったフィルムを壊したくないので一応練習フィルムで現像をトライしてみます。そんな事に夢中になって先週クラフトした物がコレ→

ジャンジャ〜ン♪
手作りのフィルムフォルダ〜です！間違えだらけなので写真はこの角度のみから☆でも一応分解しないようなので（笑）
my handmade folder for film negatives! there are so many mistakes I made so no close-ups.

後、また相変わらず今行っているプロジェクトとは関わらずフォトログのアカウントを最新の物にする事を考えています。
他の日本に方の場合はどうなのか分からないんですけど私の場合ネットが遅いのか、マックが理由なのか写真が表現されるまで毎回１００％まで数えているカウンターがとても遅いんですよね。毎回、写真一枚、一枚ずつ。ちょっとそれがずうずうしくていっぺんアカウントを削除はしていないけれど更新を辞めちゃったんですね。でもあまりにも写真のプレゼンが奇麗なのでしかもコレから自ら現像を始めるような事になっていますからまたアカウントを使う様にと考えています。

wonderful weather, yesterday and today.
Past week was rainy and cloudy. sometimes short times of sunny weather which made beautiful light all around. great but cold.

Recently I am re-thinking, or rewriting my story concerning the song "Kremlin Dusk" by Utada. I found out that the title which does not make any sense in my opinion (also not in relation to the lyrics) is justified with her personal memory or her ex boyfriend. So, I don't need to think about it deeply anymore. However, I have my own thoughts on it.
It's pretty difficult to re-write a story you once finished up. Though it was finished at a certain point I was said and this was also my thought that it needed some re-thinking. Time causes it.

On Tuesday I am gonna develop some film rolls myself. It's getting more and more into my mind that this is also a part of film photography. It IS damn! It is! I have to be able to do it myself and to decide how I want to have the grain and contrast in my pictures. And damn I need to know how it happens and what dies influence it. I am reading a book about s/w photography which is pretty nice and informative.

and another cake. it looks bread-like because there are so many nuts in it.
昨日はこんなケーキを作りました→

ちょっとパンみたいな感じはナッツが色々はいているからです。美味しいですよ〜

it's all in a mess

2010-04-18T09:45:00.006+02:00

昨日から天気がとてもよくて気分もそれなりに変化しました。

現在ベルリンにいて第４セメスター開始！ってとこですね。
とても面白そうな科目が数々会ってこれから色んな新たなプロジェクトの始まりですね。

日本へドイツ向かってからずっと読み続けている本がこちら：

『化物語』の上です。日本に居た最後の週にドイツへ船便で便を送ったんですけどその小包が届くまで
上を読み通したい感じですね。多分５月の真ん中くらいに付くでしょう。今は４４３ページの１７１ページ目ですけど。
頑張ります。

シチリアにも行ってきました。とっても美味しい料理を毎日食べ、天気も夏みたいな感じでした。
シチリアでも撮影を行っていたので、全部フィルムなので現像してみれるまで後ちょっと時間がかかります。
でも必ずブログのいつかアップするので楽しみに待っていて下さいね☆
（ちなみに下記にアップした写真はそのフィルム現像の為の準備の色んな素材。見ての通り散らかし方がとんでもないです。後、チョコレートケーキも作りました☆）

後、これからこんな『ライト』な感じでブログを書こうと思います。
前より読みやすいと思うし、私もこの方がなんだか書きやすいってことに気づきました。
なるべく日本語を書き続けたいと思います。
以上です。

yeah,
it's all in a mess in my room. (somehow I am writing completely different things than in the Japanese part of this blog)
4th semester started and I feel like still needing time to get used to the university (I had one and a half month of free "vacation")

Photos from Sicily will be ready when I manage to develop all my 20 rolls of film (also rolls from Tokyo included).
As you can see on the pictures below, there are some things I gathered together to be able to start the first session. I still got no chemicals though, maybe I will buy next week. Somehow it needs much time for me because I still feel "not ready". Do you know this feeling? I wonder.

Yesterday I baked a chocolate cake. see this! ->

I will try to write more this style. It's "lighter" and better to write and to read, I suppose. I would like to write more short paragraphs about what I am doing recently (also to list the progress for myself) rather than writing about my thoughts and views. It's too complicated for me (right now).
I again realized that I want too much. It's so much to do. So much I WANT to do. But from time to time I feel tired and I prefer reading or lying around, though not a long time.

anyway, have a nice day!

食べ放題〜all you can eat

2010-03-21T16:31:00.003+01:00

今日、一日弟と渋谷で過ごしました。彼のフォト撮影をしました。残念ながらその撮影の結果は自分もまだパソコンではみていません。良い写真が撮れたら良いんだけどね。その後、池袋で焼き肉食べに行きました。友達三人と焼き肉食べ放題、ソフトドリンクのみ放題：なんと３，０００円でした！メチャクチャ良い場所を見つけてもらってとても良い思い出になりました。久しぶりにこんなにお腹いっぱい食べました。エビオス、エビオス。マイコのお友達、お疲れさまです！本当にどうも有難うございました！
明日、祝日に最後まだ買っていない物を買いにいきます。祝日なのに店開いて良いよね〜
火曜日はまた面接。１３時。それで最後の出発の準備をして。夜弟と食事しにいきます。
それで翌日。。。

So I went to a great great Yakinikushop in Ikebukuro tonight. We went there with four people and it was a buffet. Japanese call it viking [pronounced: baikingu]. I was wondering why they call it like that, this "all you can eat" thing. Maybe because you can eat such a great amount like the vikings did in former times. Eating everything. But I had much fun with the girls.
Before I went to "viking Yakiniku" I had a photo shooting with my brother. We used a digital Canon camera and I tried out my new 35/2 lens. It's nice to use a wide angle lens and having a great depth of field. I was surprised because now I can even take photos with macro (so up to 30 cm distance). As my knowledge in photography is not that great I didn't know about it^^"
Anyway. I am tired now.

Free spirits.

2010-03-20T17:03:00.004+01:00

おわわぁ、やっぱりこの何日間は本当にとてもインパクトが強かった。
研修先探しの事ちょっと進みました。今日はあるスタジオのプロデューサー（？）とCFディレクターと一緒に夜中野で食事しに行きました。夜の仲のは本当にいいですね！まぁ、その面接みたいな、紹介機会の方がメインだったんですけれど。ちょっと細かい情報は書きませんけど本当にとても良い夜でした。一応また返事待ちですね。
でも今日はそれだけではなく、長い間会っていなかったお友達と再会してとても素敵なお昼を過ごしました。やっぱり一緒に友達と食事行くのは良いですね！あぁ、もう帰りたくないです。
昨日もまたとても本当にとても良い場所に弟から招待されていってきました。渋谷にあるPINK COWと言うバーみたいな、クラブみたいな場所で弟のchikatetsuが演奏していて、やっぱり嬉しかったですね、弟のラップを初めて実際に見れて！でもそれだけではなくその場所には色々音楽関係で活動しているアーティスト、またはその友達とかが居て、もうフリースピリッツでしたね。もう『フリースピリッツ』って言う言葉がもう当てはまってしょうがないくらい感動していました。いまもそういう状態です。とても良い人たちに知り合ってとても楽しかった夜で。ニョ〜っ！何で日本って終電ってあるの、バスとか出さないの？！もう眠くてもいたかった場所です。本当に居たかったですね。「痛かったですね」。もっと早くそういう人たちに出会えていたら。
デマっ、家へ帰って、ちょっと食パン一枚でも食べようかと思うと、なんと、マイコの友達が韓国料理のラーメンみたいな物を作っていて凄いごちそうまでしてくれました。あぁ、もう。とても素敵ですね、こういう感じ。
もっと、もっといっぱい経験していてたまっているんだけど、書く方が遅いしなんだか眠いからこれくらいにします。
何か、そうですね。東京ってとても良い場所ですね。

yes, free spirits. I like this expression, and it just fits to the past few days. I talked with artists, directors, musicians, friends... aw. It feels so good because it's kind of inspiring me and pushing me forward. Everyone. Some people I met on my brother's live performance evening in Shibuya, I wished I had met them earlier before... So great people. I know this kind of people. It's the sort of people who "shine". It sounds a little spiritual, maybe it even is. But ok, in this matter I AM spiritual then, but it's true for me and I wouldn't explain it any different. It's such a mysterious place here. Mysterious and comfortable, inspiring.
Tomorrow I am gonna buy a wide lens. I will decide spontaneously whether I will take 28mm or 35mm, whether f2 or f 1.8. Afterwards I have a shooting with my bro. Then eating with friends.
It's yeah... I am quite speechless. But mainly because I spoke so much today. Quite concentrated talks, especially with the producer (?) and director today in the evening. They are so nice people. I really hope to get an internship here in Tokyo. It's more or less fixed that I will come here again in autumn. If I still haven't foudn any internship I will be here for looking for the internship, otherwise, if I will really get a place here... yeah, no question that I will be here again.
exciting.
ah, and I am really curious about the studies in the fourth semester. Sounds really interesting and I am quite motivated to work.

oh, and please listen to this, it's fantastic

confused, happy, exhausted and loving this city

2010-03-17T16:01:00.005+01:00

ちょっと変な題名かな。長い間何も更新ていなくて２週間くらいはまたたちましたかね。本当に時間がいつの間にすんじゃって後わずかな一週間しか残っていません。どうしましょう。しかし二週間の間にどれくらいの人と会ったか、どれくらいの幸せを感じたかはもう疲れるくらいに大きい量でした。いまもまだそうだし、ドイツへ帰る事をもう考えたくないです。日本語の小説もまじめに読む様になって、ちょっと自分がかっこいいって思うのかな？空いている時間があれば読んでいます。とても練習になりますしおもしろい物語で早く読み終わりたい感じですね。ちょっと暇ができる時間に色々欲しかった物も買っていって、後は最近研修先探しに集中しています。たまには落ち込んだり、またモチベーションが出来たり、疲れていたり、自信なくす時もいっぱいなのでちょっと変かな〜って自分も思っているんですけど。ま、しょうがないっていうか、共同生活を一緒にしているルームメイト達こそ就職活動がもう信じられないくらいのストレスを彼女達に与えているので精神的に心配するほどです。あんなに頑張っているから私も出来る！って皆お互いに勇気を出し合ってます。
一番好きな東京での友達にもまた再会できたので今週の金曜日弟のライブももしかしたら一緒に行く予定です。今週はもういっぱい東京で外食行って来ました。とても楽しくていっぱいの人に会えてとても嬉しいです。よく、お昼、午後は研修先探しをして夜は外食行っていましたね。今週もまだまだですよ〜
やっぱり東京だと「外食できるお金だけ無いと」って思っちゃいます。
でも研修先見つけるのは難しいですね。受け入れ体制がたいてい無いのと日本全国がかなり不定期なのでやっぱり断れたりそういう情報を知りますね。それにしても初めて面接であった会社の社長さんでも本当にとてもとても親切でわざわざ時間とってくれたり、私に色々とアドバイスを挙げたりまた他の人たちに進めてもらってりしていて：日本はやっぱりコネクションですね！見たいな印象がやっぱり浮かびます。まさにそうだといま私は体験し、コネクションを利用している途中なんですけど。残っている時間は後一週間。あまり考えない方が良い。

hm, yeah it's quite a strange title. But I didn't found a better one. I am experiencing so many situations and feelings. It's mixed with happiness to see friends again, happiness of eating great japanese food together with relatives or friends, being confused about myself (today I had a conversation with a yeah, let's say drunken businessman, who managed to get me into deep thoughts about myself and my work and my aims). I am exhausted as well, I recognize every morning when I feel that it's hard to wake up early. It's also very exhausting when you look for an internship in a country where this system hardly exists. Maybe not exhausting but you need much endurance and power to recover and not give up. But every experience I did so far pushed me into a certain direction so that I know better about everything in this design/filming business.
All people are so kind to me and try to help me, support me. I could cry because I am so grateful for that. And I hope I won't disappoint all. I wished this trip will never end. Slowly the time gets nearer, less in a week. I don't dare to speak out. Again, it's mixed with happiness and sadness. Leaving people, seeing people again.

[I deselected the comment options for this post. So if someone feels like writing (I am sure not so many are even reading this blog), feel free to drop me an email.]

age of frequence

2010-03-04T17:38:00.005+01:00

今またヘッドフォンで音楽を聴いています。ロック音楽をヘッドフォン出来ぬのはやっぱり迫力ありますね。この。。何日間かな。。四日間ずーっと課題を書いていました。『メディアの哲学』かな、その単語をそのまま訳すと。とにかく情報集めている間にどんどんさらに興味がわいて来て課題を書くのがとても楽しかったです。テーマーは『インターネットテクノロジーと人間に対する影響』かな？日本語下手ですみません。とにかくとても楽しかったのは大学用の課題に何と、アニメの内容をテーマーと結び合わせた事です！『シリアルエクスペリメンツ・レイン』というアニメで確かにとてもディープな哲学的に考えられる内容をもったアニメです。ドイツの大学のプロフェッサーにそのアニメの深刻さが伝わるでしょうか？課題を書いて最後かなりストレスになったので徹夜で文章書いたり、文章直しに彼まで巻き込まれて今日やっと提出できました。しかし今までちゃんと東京を味わえなくてこれからですね。でも日本に住んでいるだけでとても素敵なのでとても元気が出ています。とてもいいタイミングだったのがアパートで一緒に住んでいる人たちが偶然『何か飲もう！』と言いだし今夜は皆でおしゃべりなどしていました。いやいや、とても嬉しかったです。

もう、眠いわ。

so, I finally finished my essay for media theory, actually philosophy. I wrote about 12 text pages eventually, though five to six were the actual task. But yeah, I am kinda proud of it because it was a wonderful topic for me and I learnt a lot. Just my little stress about the long time it took (I actually started on the flight to Japan to read in my book which I researched for the topic), and the fact that I involved K into my work to correct my German formal language (because I am actually dealing with three language these days). Thank you so much, K! Anyway, it's dealing about the consequences of the development of the internet for the human. analyzed by a media philosopher and a great japanese anime "Serial Experiments Lain". woah, I researched so much and learnt so many things about the internet and the human consciousness... it was really fun. And I was very exciting writing about an anime in a scientific essay, and I am curious about the result or better say the reaction of my professor towards this essay. So I finished this thing today finally, and drank with my roommates together in the dining room. It was really nice. From tomorrow on I will experience Tokyo more. Finally!

I am gonna reduce my electro magnetic waves of my brain to 1-7 Hz... xD
good night.

意気投合

2010-02-26T03:25:00.004+01:00

辞書ー、電子ジショー、日本へ来てそんなに欲しいとはさすがに思わなかった。別に無しでココでは生きてはいられないっていう事ではなく、ココ来てもっと日本語を身につけたいっていう想い。昨日化物語っていう題名の小説を買ったんでやっぱりちょっとスラスラ読めない漢字を無視しないでちょっと習いたい。ま。そんなとこです。

昨日弟にあってとても楽しい夜を過ごしました。本当に久しぶりに会ってとても嬉しかったし、何より話がよく合うのでね〜
恵比寿でギョウザ食べにいってお話いっぱい〜
いっぱい四字熟語教えてね〜

夜寝る前に気づいた事なんだけどなぜまた早い時間に眠くなったのかって考えて知らないうちに１９時間寝た後マジでまた３０時間も起きていたこと。一回寝ようとしていたけれど眠れなくてだたベットで睡眠とらずちょっと休んでいただけ。だから夜もまた２２時くらいに凄い眠かったんだ〜

yeah, yesterday when I went to bed I realized that after I had slept for 19 hours I was awake the next day for about 30 hours again. It was just strange when I got tired that day so early. I worked on my manga and met my little brother (really nice conversations and delicious dinner!). I didn't manage to go to Shinjuku, that was in fact my intention that day.

Anyway. I think I got my normal biorhythm back again. Maybe I have to struggle a bit today but it's not that bad. At least I finally got some rice and miso soup and natto~ yay.

To show you some photos (I don't have any digital camera apart from the webcam in the macbook with me.
it's the kitchen where I am sitting right this moment.

by the way: I loooooooove japanese water and hair shampoo and hair wax *o*

oh and I finally finished DEATH NOTE!!!! it's so crazy.

到着っ！

2010-02-24T13:57:00.003+01:00

２月２３日、東京成田朝の９：０５時に到着。なんだか飛行機の中寝てもまだ眠たい感じで映画見たり、本読んでたり、まあ、普通に時間過ごし。

１２時くらい早稲田にまた着いてすぐベットに寝転んで。。いや、じゃなくて、まず昔マイコで一緒に住んでいたロコさんの玄関の前でいきなり現れた私にかなりショック受けたシチュエーション、その後ちょっとひまつぶして１時間しか寝れなく代々木の親戚へ会いにいった。色々お土産もあるしね。ようやくその後寝て。。マジ、２４日の夜６：３０時に起きた。ルームメイトに『おはよう』と言いながら顔洗って必要な物など買い物いって。。夜ご飯にトースト、紅茶など飲んだり、食べました。
皆でテレビ（拒食症のある女の人生の番組）みてこれからパソコン仕事。

今まで気づいた忘れ物：電子辞書、口座のピンリスト（なんていうのかな？）

arrived in Tokyo at about 9:05 am on Feb. 23rd. somehow I wasn't that tired at this time, tough I had quite a stressful time before and haven't slept properly in the plane. (just many short naps, maybe each 30 minutes). I suppose I arrived at about 12 pm in Waseda at Maiko's where I kinda shocked one room mate I met there before. She wasn't prepared at all and didn't know I was coming again. It was a quite surprising and funny reunion.
I slept just one hour and then went to my relatives to bring all the small presents I brought from Germany. It was pretty nice to see them again.
Then I arrived at home and went to bed at about 12 am. It was so strange when I woke up and looked through the window. I slept unitl 6:30 pm! so... about 18 hours~19 hours. I couldn't believe.
So I just bought something to eat and had my evening breakfast while watching TV and chatting with the others. Now I am gonna continue my computer work. Still one kinda of essay for university and my manga to finish.

thing I forgot in G: my electronic dictionary (VERY important actually), my bank pin number list

sweet dreams

2010-02-11T01:58:00.002+01:00

listening to bjork and unkle
eating rice
drinking grapefruit chuhai

heyya.
ah, it's kinda nice to be able to concentrate on one project. Today I wrote the exam in marketing, now just an essay (?) is left to write about media theory... hm. the so called "exam"-thing is really crappy. not the tasks itself but the whole "event" writing an exam, or say better, test. again, I got little into a tizzy about my university again. sometime it's just absurd. I often miss the entitlement of the education there. education? I mean the education as an university. no consistency, no endurance. it's often too superficial. people and lecturer. But I am glad that there are some good new lecturers. Somehow the university (which is still very young, about four years old) starts to improve. But it's very though, as there are always people who go there because it's private, because someone is there to pay the fees, because they think they can do there whatever they want.
where is quality? what will they do, when they get out of university, the "real life" which every lecturer is prophesying? Maybe I am naive when believing in justice. or rationality. Often people get through with their things.
However. As I am quite enjoying the topic motion design itself I am eager to give my best and to set my own standards and aspirations. I am just not sure always. I am not sure whether I can stand, whether I am strong enough.

hm, I didn't mean to write so much about that topic. But it seems to have bothered me quite much these days.
Now it's quite embarrassing to upload some work here. I was working on my manga which has to be finished on feb. 20th. so in... 9 days... ?! what? ok... so...
I just wanted to try my blue pen trick. No, it's not a trick but a "professional" way to make rough sketches. But I just read that there is a special blue pen... I just used normal blue pen. But It worked. I managed to filter the blue out of the inkings. another problem still is the line crossing the page because my scanner merely reads A4 size. But yeah...

These sketches are not finished of course. I just inked the characters and the panels. the BG, which is kinda hard for me to draw will follow tomorrow and the screen tone of course. I am still thinking about whether to do the screen tone digitally as there is not much time left because I will be in Osnabrück next week and also have to prepare my portfolio eventually. But I have never tone digital screen toning before.. so I will have to ask the people in the club for information. Maybe dA will help me as well. btw. I am very happy to have people drawing manga with me.

Teaser

2010-02-01T21:41:00.009+01:00

listening to Placebo
eating pretzel
drinking calpis chuhai

here is a little teaser of my short film I uploaded (after having tried out a number of different exports for light data for the internet). It will be presented on monday at university. I am quite curious about the short films of the others.
the actor (actually a friend of university I worked together with) is Julius Peikert, Music is done by Chikatetsu Chikatetsu(how nice to have people making music! don't need to care about credits...)

Teaser 'Schlaflos' HD from Nagano Lea on Vimeo.

this week was... busy. and the last two days (thursday and friday) made me into a zombie. I had to finish the editorial project at university. I wanted to create a catalogue, but it took more time to design the layout, each page than I thought. To I got into time trouble and had to bind the catalogue on my own in the last night. I thought I can't bind on my own because
1. it's too difficult, as I haven't tried out adhesive binding since yesterday night and
2. it will definitely take much longer than giving the data to a print shop and pick it up the next day.
but yeah, the print shop needs 24 hours to get bindings done so I was definitely too late when I finished the layout on thursday midday. yay. This fact made me nervous first but now I can be proud of myself that I can say that I can bind catalogues with about 200 pages. The result turned out better than expected.
I costed the whole night (though I took about one hours of sleep, when I couldn't identify the numbers on the ruler anymore) and the next day. I was SO tired. Not because I worked one night through, but I had time pressure the last three days. In the aftermath I feel ok with it. And I am glad I did all these things. But next time I will definitely plan better and trust myself that I can bind things on my own :)

Today I slept until 12 o'clock. (I was awake until 1 am on friday, slept about 2 hours during the day) and first I felt sick. Then I realized and it's still: I am feeling dizzy, Absolutely dizzy. I can sit, stand or walk, I am easily getting out of balance. It feels funny. But I think tomorrow it's gone.

So the third semester at university is about to be finished. One test in marketing and one, let's essay, about media theory. maybe I will write about the anime "Serial Experiments Lain". Still don't know.
One big thing is running till saturday next week. it's a manga I will publish in a small anthology here in Berlin. I think I once told here about that? Anyway. I have to finish this as well and it's not much time left. Maybe I will upload some pages during this week.

In two weeks I will go to Tokyo for one months and two days. Again, I will stay at Maiko's. Looking forward to it pretty much. There are still some people living I know from 2 years ago. yay! I also have to prepare for that as I will try to get connections for an internship there...

I also realized yesterday that I should get more active in showing things though the internet. Like things I am doing. I have several platforms this blog, deviantart and facebook. Even in facebook I can upload features to my dA or blog, so that people who don't know me that much can have a look to my things I am doing privately.

Tomorrow another day off. Enjoying this pretty much. Though having some things to do. Maybe because I have something to do. something besides all the stuff I dd the last fours days.

afri cola is a god.

2010-01-23T03:28:00.003+01:00

phew, without this energy drink I wouldn't have managed to endure these two nights (and maybe tomorrow day (today day) as well. I am caught in the Death Note mania "reborn" (I once had a Death Note time, when I bought the manga) but I understand much more from the plot than years before. Sometimes it's difficult Japanese because it's a suspense manga. Words like suspicion, betrayal.. ah, I dunno how to translate in English, I don't remember many words (just when I read I recognize.
Anyway. I am quite amazed by the manga drawer Obata Takeshi (小畑健）. He is one of my favorite manga-ka.

But this is not the reason why I drank Afri col the last two nights. It's partly because of the manga because I hardly can stop reading it and so I delay all other things I have to do. So did I with the work on my manga for the manga club. Tomorrow there is a meeting where everyone has to have finished the sketches, which are then to ink. So as I have a story of 20 pages (ha, will be the longest manga I ever worked out seriously) Reading Death Note also rises the demands I have towards my pictures... So I am learning a lot from this manga and am trying to develop my skills... so far it kinda worked, I think.

I will get feedback in about 10 hours.

Sometimes I think about the main plot: A god of death drops his Death Note into the human world. The Death Note is a book which can kill human beings if you write the name of a person into it by also having his face in mind. The intelligent top student Light picks up this Note and is immediately fascinated by it and believes to be able to purify the world by killing all criminals in the world. Of course, this "killing" is also a crime, so it soon get into ethical conflicts because Light also has to get rid of all the police and a special agent named L haunting him.
ohhhh, his is so exciting. And it's so intelligent because you can read Light's mind how he tries to trick out his enemies
Anyway. I am wondering whether some people might think that this manga goes too far, because during the course of the story Light turns from an exemplary top student into a devilish person. Many characters die in the course of the story, and the author really does kill the characters! He doesn't hesitate, because he created the character "Light", and he does cruel things to people. Normal people think "No, I don't think he can do this now. It's too cruel." And turn the next page: it happened! Light stops at nothing and soon he turns into a protagonist every reader is shaking the head about. Some might even hate him for being to merciless. But he is the protagonist. That's terrific.

I haven't finished the manga yet but I will soon. Latest when I buy the last manga in Tokyo in Feb.
I should sleep now.

fragments

2010-01-19T00:30:00.007+01:00

I am feeling quite empty in this moment. Empty when I think about feelings and my thoughts. All thoughts dashing against the wall. Just seeing broken fragments falling down. It's glittering in the light. It's beautiful... and melancholic. How can it look so beautiful? Don't tell me it even IS. yes, of course. But it hurts you if you touch it. Leave it. Don't mind. Some day you will forget about it. It will even not glitter anymore. Turning grey. Covered with dust. And if you ignore it, you won't remember the pain and the melancholic feeling you had when seeing the relicts. You will just remember the beauty of the sound and the beauty of the broken fragments.

01/01/2008

fishy

2010-01-15T01:08:00.004+01:00

hm, I actually wanted to post an entry about my two layouts of business cards I created some weeks ago. I am unsure which one to take for printing as I see advantages in both designs... I like both. But then it was strange at the same tie not be sure about my own design. So why post it to make a "public" poll out of it? I thought it might help me with my decision but I think it's again a matter of time.

Time does change many things. Also my point of view and my working process. For example I cannot write a text I have to turn in to someone without having at least two days to work on. (Maybe it's especially the case with text) I need one day to write, most crap. Then I need to sleep or have at least 8 hours something different to do so that I can have a look to that text again. And then I clean out all the crap and mistakes and so on. often this does even not help though... I am pretty bad in writing text. Unfortunately I think in English, German and Japanese. Yeah, it confuses me. Every time.

I am so much looking forward to get to Japan in Feb. this year. I am curious about the interview or visits at the different companies where I will try to get an internship or "job" for half a year. I am also looking forward to seeing all people again. My family, friends, of course my brother as well. I am gonna shoot a lot of films, hoping to get better results than last time I was in Tokyo. I hope... because I got the Nikon FM2 first when I was in Tokyo half a year.

It will be strange as well to get home again because it won't take two days and I am on my way to Sicily. This year I will spent about one week there also to get input and relaxation. I am also thinking about creating a concept about all the stuff I will get to see in one and a half month. Maybe some kind of photo story, or style, or editorial photos... something which I can use to practice and maybe create something to show other people. hm... you understand me? maybe not. some kind of personal project. I would probably make a short film, but I have no filming camera with me so just my Nikon.

it's just that I am in projects right now and I have fun doing this. (though it's quite much and thus stressful sometimes).

storyboard on Kremlin Dusk: 60%
editorial: 55%
short film: 55%
manga for Baito-oh!: 30%

I can't express properly in percentage. but it looks nice and numbers remind me of processes. so like "it's just 30% until you're finished!" it's some kind of poor motivation maybe... no. it's not. it's rather just reminding of my schedule!

so tomorrow will be a busy day. I think I get out at about 8:30 latest and return home at about 1 am next day.

bunch of photos.

2010-01-10T01:13:00.005+01:00

finally I developed some films again. yaaaay, it was so much fun again! I always feel it when developing films.
This time I developed two DELTA 400 rolls I used during my vacation in Milano and afterwards. So these photos are photos around September 2009. Yeah it's pretty long time ago.
I was so surprised how nice the photos turned out. positively. Especially because I thought I was totally out of photography (maybe I am now, but I am shooting again). During September 2009 I cared much about the horizon in my photos because they used to be quite tilted. Also the sharpness of the photos were a problem when shooting with the FM 2 because there is no focus help. The photos I took in Tokyo for example when I got the FM 2 were much more blurred. Maybe I learned anything? So I post some results of the two DELTA rolls. photos are not edited.

good night.

and that's it.

2010-01-04T02:00:00.004+01:00

oh, I went out longer than I intended to.
I thought this day would end in a relaxed mood, early sleep and no pizza at two o'clock in the morning.
yes, the pizza starts to work in my stomach now. And I should go to bed.

sadness.
disinterest.
jealousy.
madness.
idiosyncrasy.
unreality.
and silence.

nothing extraordinary.
somehow I want to start again.
an it's cold outside.

お正月プロモーション

2010-01-02T00:23:00.002+01:00

so, how long have I been awake?
Yes, I remember. I started on 31st. dec. 2009 at 5:30 am. (I just slept about 5 hours).
and now it's 12:30 am 2nd jan. 2010. so... hm, 44.5? so many hours without really sleeping? hm, maybe all in all I slept about 2 hours in the train, on the party and on the carpet here at my mother's home.
and I was really really surprised that it's now 2nd jan. 2010, and I have to get awake in about, yeah 5,5 hours. at least I am off with working at 6:30 pm tomorrow.
It's too strange. And I completely lost my feeling about time.
But I am tired, a bit. But I could also be still awake until 2 am. At least it feels like that. When I stop myself, I will fall asleep instantly, like cup ramen it ready in 3 minutes.

But before I practiced the Obi binding of a yukata. Tomorrow I will have to bind four Obi ribbons for the promotion new year's event of the sushi shop of my mother. It will be busy, and crowded and cold and I will eat sushi!!!

浴衣の帯を結びました。

The only thing is that I don't want to catch a cold. And I know I won't.

眠いのでやっぱり今日はもう寝ます。。。

last post

2009-12-30T18:06:00.004+01:00

the city was so crowded today. of course. tomorrow is new year's eve. I always put my haircut appointment to another day so I went today. I was there almost two hours. of course most time waiting.

the past days I did some working on a manga I am about to start to draw. It deals about a girl who is processing her painful life into her dreams which always turn out to be nightmares. She wishes a tapir to help her (tapir babies are so damn cute!!!（｀・ω・´）have a look but the tapir is very useless. Finally she has no other choice and also realizes that she has to change her life herself.
hm, I am pretty bad in summarizing stories but maybe someone got a hint.

All this stuff I am doing for a Manga project called "Baito-oh!" (don't ask me about the title, couldn't figure out properly). It's an anthology of mangas created by some members of a manga club here in Berlin. I think I will post more information when I got more myself. I am a newbie and hope to get to work with all the people there. Eventually I am pretty happy to have some manga mates who are not crazy about the manga world itself as a 'fan' but creating also serious stuff themselves. I even feel like I am behind, so I have to create more manga stuff. At least one little thing I drew yesterday for the last post of the year!

Wish you all a nice time on New Year's Eve and a good start in 2010.
Thank you for reading and commenting on my entries this year! I will definitely continue and hope that you get some interest in some of my topics!

and yeah, that girl is supposed to be me... :)

crawling out of the hole

2009-12-28T00:00:00.004+01:00

spent christmas quite quietly :)
nothing special happened, one christmas party (in the aftermath I liked very much, was good when I was there). delicious meals and dinner, much tea, long sleeping time and watching films.
hope you all had a nice time spending during these days.
so we're gonna head to the end of the year.

I think I will change some appearance here on this blog. I will change the header and so on.. hope that I can manage changing these html things...

about cookies, vacation and keeping this blog international

2009-12-16T11:27:00.003+01:00

ちょっと卑怯だねいきなり日本語で書くなんて。
でもこのブログは始めっから英語だったから。
理由はドイツの友達でも日本の友達でも世界中で知り合った
人たちと友達にも読める様にしてあげたいこと。
日本の人はたいてい英語が出来ないって言っているけど
本当は読むくらいはみんなどうにか出来るんじゃない。。？
って勝手な事思うなよ！（￣△￣）

昨日はクッキーを作りました。
毎年この時期になると作っています。
去年は引っ越しで忙しくて作り損ねました。

今大学です。脚本と劇作と言うとても面白い学科です。
でも今週が冬休みの最後の最後の週なのでもう学生さんと教授さん達も
皆になりきっていてちゃんとした授業はもうないようです。

休みか〜
色々出来そう。でもこうなったらまたやる気がありすぎて結局何も仕上げられないみたいな感じ。
まだ冷蔵庫にとってあるFP50のフィルムくらいは私のベルリンの冬の印象で撮りたいな。
撮影も長い間やっていなかったし。。

ほら、何か日本語で書くとこんな文章が出るから本当は恥ずかしいんだよね。

cookie photos will follow.

急げええ〜

2009-12-10T10:27:00.004+01:00

oh, I haven't written into my blog for such a long time. And I shouldn't write now because I have to work on some design layouts. Last week was busy with getting done everything I couldn't that weekend because of the making of a short film. It was very time-consuming and we put much effort in it. Though I still have more endurance than the other two, I must say :) This Saturday we will do some film correction because we had some mistakes and this apartment in which we filmed is full of glass and thus reflection!!
One thing I recognized is that I really think "music video"-like. Even when I was filming for this short story I had problems with the imagined cut and the flow of the motion pictures. In music video all this wouldn't be not that important because you have other solutions. for example you cut the band in between. Of course just in that case when you separate story and band. There are so many possibilities... So it took a little time and effort or me to get into that work when I held the camera in my hands.
yeah an again, my self doubt overwhelmed me...
but the material we filmed turned out okay I suppose... it's very low key, it was intended to be low key and I am not sure whether it will be now too dark. I will check tomorrow whether it's okay or not.

every time I am not working on my layout design for the company I will present my work tomorrow (it's an uni internal project), I tend to play XENOSAGA on playstation. I got this game this week and its such a bad timing because it even distracted me some days in this important week where I have to work on the design. But yesterday and today it didn' t and will not distract me, hopefully... :) ah, maybe one hour to get a pause, whatever... :) NO!!!
it's a sci-fi RPG game with music by Kajiura Yuki, whom I adore so much. And strangely the Xenosaga series have a subtitle like "Der WIlle zur Macht", "Jenseits von Gut und Böse" and "Also sprach Zarathustra". What the japanese did heck out again... maybe this will fascinate some Nietzsche fans... like vivi?? ;)
I still don't get why Namco decided to name this game like that, It has three parts, I am playing II, so the "Jenseits von Gut und Böse". I will talk about this philosophical quotation if I get an idea why they used it. :) But then maybe I have to get into Nietzsches philosophy. not maybe, surely.

and what the f***, Imeem fused with myspace!!! -.-

just stepped out of the train and...

2009-11-30T20:07:00.002+01:00

NIHON, NIHON, NIHON!!!! 日本、日本！！
I will go to Nihon next year feb to march, and right in this moment I am looking forward to it SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much, and much more :D :D

boxes on catwalk

2009-11-27T00:53:00.007+01:00

yaya.
I should work on a damn editorial project, LISTROS but the HELL I don't care. It's so... so... shitty.
today was a nice day though the BVG here in Berlin was again, getting on my nerves.

On the way to university I talked about my plans to have my internship in Tokyo next year. I am fascinated by film as well as package design. When I thought about film I thought of the video project with Taiga (which I still haven't uploaded in the internet yet, may I?) and the fact that it pleased me very much. Somehow I really love to work on a film related to music. It gets me more deeper into my imagination. Music supports my imagination. Often the lyrics also play a great role.
If I listen to music I feel certain emotions, sure, most people do. But often I am able to transmit these emotions into specific pictures. and then, the story begins.
I found out that it doesn't need to be a story which is formed by the song that it must be the video clip. I realized that in my case I just need the acoustic world to create my scenery, the setting. the rest of the plot is not the content of the song necessarily. Songs which contain no voice singing, I can just talk about classic, soundtrack or drum'n'bass music, do the same. I get specific images. Though I think that drum'n'bass is very complex because I suppose it to have many cuts in a short time. But of course you can just skip one beat, so some kind of half-time... I am not very familiar with the terms here and I haven't tried out to imagine a whole story with drum'n'bass music.
and may be all this stuff is kinda normal and nothing special, maybe everyone does think like that. But it feels special for me :P

so.
today I was very very nervous and shivering for about 4 hours because I took breankfast at about 11 o'clock and drank a little cup of cappuccino afterwards. then I got nothing to eat and I was hungry because I haven't eaten too much for breakfast. I couldn't stop shivering and my stomach felt weird because it was so empty.

I was in the table top studio today and took some photos of the little boxes I was creating these days. It got much time to get the studio fixed so in the end I just had one hour left. I tried out some combinations and composition. I had no concept how to shoot them in what kind of formation etc. I couldn't draw pictures of maybe-compositions of the boxes because it was too banal to me. somehow. so I tried out some, but as you can see there are many inaccuracies in formation of the objects, light control, color balance etc. furthermore some of the boxes have some stain on the wrapping because I was being too careless while crafting.
But all in all I got a good impression of presenting some handicraft things and I learned more about what to take care of when shooting. and next time it won't take so much time to get started... ^^"

it's already SO late, I am tired and I won't have anything to show for editorial class.
oyasumi.

inbetween

2009-11-24T15:48:00.005+01:00

crafting. I am finishing up all the boxes I started to craft. I especially don't like the inner wrapping because it confuses me every time when I try to get the exact size. and too, I somehow tend to loose concentration if I work and another fixed time is defined where I have to be ready to go out. Like work... or university. The last one hour I can't work properly because I kind of have a inner countdown counting. it's strange. it's strange because you can do so much in 60 minutes.
But yeah, just when I finished one thing I realized I had made a very stupid mistake. But I did this mistake because I was under pressure. As I said. Strange.

anyway, I will have a table top shooting on thursday to take picture of my boxes...

I put a large paper onto my wall next to my desk. It's kind of large sticky for my things I have to have done. Some are deadline, some are projects/work I would like to have done some day. I was complaining about my time schedule, so I tried this.

Ah, and I saw a movie lately where a person who works as script writer was using a dictation machine. I just remembered because Kreideraub left me a comment on one post. But I suppose I am just not able to pronounce the things I have in mind, maybe writing is better... I'll see. Somehow the overloading thing stopped so far. It stopped because some ideas I worked out.

and I have to go to work now...
geez, I don't feel like working today... >.>

Etc. Etc.

p.s. the picture I took about one week ago... (?) my hair is disturbing because it's getting longer...

overloaded

2009-11-13T10:42:00.004+01:00

I am sitting now in the editorial course. I feel overloaded. Not because of the lecturer who introduced some of his magazine cover collections. I think already judging and analyzing magazine covers and other editorial work subconsciously.
I just printed out two stories by Edgar Allan Poe. Maybe we will become one of my favorite story writers. I like the macabre world in which he was thinking. a quotation:

"I was never kinder to the old man than during the whole week before I killed him."

one writer I will study in the next weeks by reading his stories. But then I slowly get some motivation for the editorial project at university. One difficulty for me will be to design a squared layout. Somehow I couldn't manage to work with squared sizes.
Then I got quite concretely about an animation I will try to do. But I think that will have a great bunch of work. Yesterday I spent half of the day just skipping from one source of inspiration to the other. So I felt great motivation but and overloaded feeling as well. It was too much so I couldn't work properly.
Is there any medium for recording thought at the speed of brainwave?? I write down many things/ideas but so many of them I seem to forget. Or it leads to another project which would insist on thorough elaboration. At the same time I try to combine some details so that I can cover two aims to one... ahhh...

Then I bought some material for crafting boxes (tomorrow I will go there again). I would like to try out different ideas, also combined with printing own patterns to use for wrapping etc. There I also get much inspiration via some RSS feeds which post several examples for crafting every day. Crafting is something you have to do very detailed and thoroughly.

In fact, if I would work one every idea I have I could have work for up to 3-5 years.
But the result of finished work or work in which I developed intensively is not that much on balance. It's still everything in my head.
in the end I'll become hypocritical... but I don't want to.

lesson ended.

some clips to introduce.

2009-11-12T13:52:00.003+01:00

an independent short animation. it's too crazy if you know it was done by a single person (I hope I am right with this information)

also a short animation found via dA. I love the aesthetic of it.

two nerds created a complex stop motion video with some movie clips. I like the music :)

yeast

2009-11-10T16:32:00.007+01:00

oh, I don't like the weather, I am telling people and writing this so often, so it has to end some time!! as a result I somehow don't go out that often. But I am also enjoying the university schedule this semester. Every tuesday I have a day off and the other lectures are not too much. All the students also start talking about combining all lectures and projects to one big one. So just one BIG project this semester :D but, no. I think it's okay when two or max. three lectures are combined, but not all. I think in some way it's good to get separate feedback and selected feedback on different works.

I think I also find my time to do some things which are not that related to university. On the other hand I have to admit that some situations at university or some proposes of the professors and lecturers inspire me. At the same time I feel overloaded sometimes.

And I don't forget to eat! :D (how could I?) and I am glad I got a thermos to get hot tea all over the day no matter where I am.

I know, it's stupid to cut off the clock... your even see the 6 and 7..!! -.-" it's a duration of 90 minutes. I took a photo every three to four minutes.

Kremlin Dusk by Utada inspired me very much yesterday. I was always wondering what her message was in this song. Somehow I couldn't get any access to it, though I like the song a lot. Yesterday I did some research on this song and I got an enlightenment... and maybe I found another favorite writer.

and crafting, of course, looks kinda weird when photographing all these small boxes. In the first place I had to create such small boxes because I just have the japanese origami paper sized 15cm. While I was crafting these little boxes I thought that it could maybe be okay this size. But please, don't ask me, what to put in it.

I will get nice table top photographs of the boxes when I have selected some good ones. Looking forward to it :) And I should think about a design of a wrapping paper. Maybe it's not that wrong to create your own wrapping paper.

and please, if you haven't noticed yet, please vote on my poll, I am always curious about the result!! btw I often dream in color. I prefer b/w in photography and drawing but I often dream in vivid colors... or tinted colors, which is almost monochrome then. I once had a dream with orange tints but purple shadows. This was pretty scary and I was shot down by a strange man.

I am going to buy shampoo now.

"rain" and "last song"

2009-11-05T01:32:00.007+01:00

hmmmmmmm... so beautiful music. I really sank into Gackt's music.

I did some drawing with reference. first one are a character of my favorite anime, Senjougahara (yeah, the girl in underwear), other sketches are with reference from some work of artists I admire, but slightly changed. some are mine.
second one is inspired by a photography I found on dA. I just wanted to check messages and crossed this picture. I thought how about to draw this piece? so I tried, also changed some details. Actually it doesn't resemble the original any more. reference is here: Monislawa

I loved this day somehow. and this pen!!!

_{title describes my favorite songs by gackt)}

are we digging a hole?

2009-11-02T16:43:00.002+01:00

is mankind digging a hole? a hole which leads us to the enlightenment. Why does this world exist, how do humans exist, why do we exist? sometimes when I think about such topics I manage to feel immaterial. is t the right word? I don't feel time in it's rhythm. Just feeling life. It's strange. It's strange to feel existence. And then wondering about life. You do it. now. but what damn technique is it? a technique of the consciousness? just physical reactions? if yes, will it be possible to create it artificially? what if mankind reaches this point? are they sufficient then?
hm, no, no. It's just asking. no answering. but I am in this thing called "world" which is structured by consciousness of the existence called human beings.

I fell asleep during the camera theory lesson. Slept about 3 to 5 minutes. The lecturer is kinda funny. very technique guy. his last name is "ingwer", meaning ginger in English.

so, I got few replies on my poll dealing about music. And though it's a small resonance I find it very interesting. My expectations was that most people would just work with their favorite music. Music they know inside out. But it was just one vote.... from three :) so maybe not that effective to judge on this base. Thank you for voting.

I had a full week(end).
I went to the great Muse concert here in Berlin, had two guests, one birthday party, met a friend from Tokyo, and had to work. it was nice, but now I am glad having my own time again. however, it will not last so long...

2008年お正月

2009-10-26T19:05:00.004+01:00

oh my, when I rummaged through my data on the hard disk, I found this photo taken by Karsten.
It's the 1st January 2008 and I went to the Meiji Shrine in Yoyogi Park. It was very crowded. I was so exciting using the Nikon FM2 I got just a week and some days ago. I didn't recognized my outer appearance because I was concentrating on taking pictures. But the black camera was really nicely pointed out because my kimono was kinda white, pink and orange (strange color combination, and I am glad it's a b/s photo).

O_o nyahaha~ too much...

2009-10-20T11:43:00.007+02:00

I feel so strange these days. I don't know the reason, it just feels strange. In the morning I thought it would be a phase where I change to something different. hm, that sounds too weird. I mean a phase in between of something. It might be a change, or a development. I think the feelings has much to do with orientation. Today I just decided to devote one day to the things I don't do at university. No, it's not just one day, but at least I have one day off once in a week, so I can do different things.
And I am going to some public events here in Berlin lately. For me it's quite much and new because I haven't been to public events so often here.

And again, I realized that I am interested in so many things and I want to do so many things. But I am not able to do all this intensively. I already tried to reduce it to the main things:

haha, isn't it too much??
I've been doing this for a while now, but somehow it feels like I could concentrate now on these things, or define them as main content of my doings.
So I want to get the most I can learn from university, that would cover film and design, maybe information about movies, but everything else I won't be topic there. One great help will be people who share some interest and I work together. I feel that's important and good.

maybe I should just get rid of the thought that it's too much. I mean, there is so much time in a week! 112 hours (averaged I am awake).

I just don't know to what all this will lead to...

subjonctif

2009-10-18T15:46:00.002+02:00

hm, just random posting.
Had a strange night yesterday, I felt a bit strange and good. the cold air was nice outside. I don't like the rainy weather recently. I am fed up with this. so I am longing for hot cocoa. Gonna buy a very good one this week.
I talked with so many different people this week. Sometimes I regret that I am a person thinking so different from others, or the general conception. but I also think that my thoughts are profound. the thoughts of all the other persons might be profound also. But who tells you the truth? No, there is none.
I think about the things other people say. But it's often so far away from my 'reality'.
Maybe I am being a bit pathetic while writing this.

someone told me I should stop speaking, writing and using indirect speech.

I actually should care about everything...

2009-10-11T13:16:00.005+02:00

hm, as a design learning person, I actually should care more about my blog design... Something disturbs me, yes, but I don't know what to change so that I could be content again. Maybe it's just a slight change. Just a tinge I have to add, I don't know.
Last days were really great. Actually the whole week. ah, not really great, that sound too positive... and it was no good things at all this week, but on the whole it's a nice feeling when thinking back. so it was a good week, wasn't it?

Yesterday I did some stuff in the apartment and went to the Museum of Natural History with a friend of mine to draw some animals. I had much fun drawing animals, I concentrated on kegs of animals with four legs, because this always seemed like a mysterious thing to me, especially the back legs. Some of the result I will soon upload here because I am content with a few of them. Of course it was not that difficult to draw animals which were stuffed, and posed but it was the first time I did such things. So I know where to go, when I need reference for certain animals. Far better than opening pictures in your tabs in your browser and draw them (cannot understand people doing this...).

So many things in my apartment are now tidied up and it looks more homey, or, call it inhabited. lol. good to say this after one year.

I also worked on my box, and now it's covered with beautiful paper I got from the rests of a paper cutting machine in my university. I just took it out of the machine because otherwise it would've been ended up as waste paper. So this is it, but as it's a box where I keep my ink in it, I will decorate it with pattern drawn with the ink. It will be fine pattern. There are some parts which contain imprecision but that's just a matter of practicing.

I also fixed the strap for my two nikon cameras so I am finally able to take my camera mobile. before I packed it into my bag which I don't really like anymore and I was always worried about it because it wasn't stabilized by anything. But with a strap I can take it outside the bag and it's better to handle if I want to take a photo.

A little bit thinking about me and my japanese. I got discouraged in a way by people, situations, and my own assessment. It feels like I am deceiving myself by thinking I would know japanese language, japanese culture and japanese people or eventually being japanese. that's why I try to speak japanese, listen to japanese, read japanese wherever I can. Just to keep my japanese I learned one year ago. But I know, it worsened, and I don't feel that sure anymore. Ok, it depends, which japanese a person demands from me, at least I am a half.

But, yeah... I feel sad. But what can I do?

I am living in Berlin.

"So I should take the chance learning proper German.
Japanese I will learn when I am there again. It's the best and most efficient way."
I always tell myself.

Looking forward to next year.

ピチピチチャプチャプランランラン〜♪

2009-10-08T10:08:00.007+02:00

I just remembered that I didn't talked about the Miyavi雅! (I really love this Kanji, meaning 'elegance' or 'grace') concert. Hm, it's indeed not really worth mentioning it. It was nice though.
I love his lyrics!!!! :D

Now university started again and I am already into some projects and plans. Unknowingly I will now create about short stories during the next half semester. one story is for a project from university, two of them are private. But I think it's okay. I actually wanted to take part in another manga competition, but the deadline is at the end of october and I still haven't started anything. so I am afraid I don't manage to draw 16 manga pages in the next 3 weeks.
Please, my readers, leave any comment if you have an idea about the topic 'party' suiting for a little story... ;)

Apart from that I am currently working on a box where I will keep my calligraphy ink in. After having written this post I will continue working on the cover. It's SO great. I love making boxes. and they're quite stable. I was very surprised when I crafted my first one.

I hope this is one thing I will be able to concentrate for longer time and work it out a little.
will post another photo when it's finished.

when I manage to craft thing for people, I will try to make it as personal and impersonal as possible. I think that's my aim. That's kind of my attitude towards design.

oh yeah, and it's rainy today.

一期一会

2009-10-04T11:50:00.003+02:00

the title is a song by a japanese singer. She is a bit older but seems to be still so popular. In my first impression she seems to be an esoteric person, she has a striking way of singing and a striking voice, and her lyrics are very touching. ah, her name is 中島みゆき、Nakajima Miyuki. and yeah, she's 58 years old.
Anyway, I got to know her in the Cocolo Noodle Bar. And so many times I couldn't stop singing the melody of this song when I finished with work. But I didn't know the song's name nor the interpret until I looked up the lyrics. It's not that she is my favorite singer now. I just like this song. Her voice takes a bit getting used to somehow.

I wonder whether Japanese do create such music, art etc. out of their disciplined and controlled life. I mean, many people feel pressure and work, no spare time but some people accumulate such an amount of output (which they can't get rid of) that some of them manage to create such things which touch people.

I watched Ghost in the Shell Innocence yesterday, and I was amazed by the story and all the detail in the animation. But how the hell are people able to create such deep things, why do some people devote their life to deep animation (both story and animation quality)? is it because they want to escape from the reality? or do they use reality for living out their fantasy? maybe like that...

I believe pressure and downs, how terrible they might be, are good for spiritual creations.
(except for you try to wash them away by drnking or taking drugs etc.)

but pressure and downs they crystallize out the essence if you think about it.

such a weird entry.

capturing the essence

2009-09-19T13:28:00.011+02:00

ahm, no, I am not away.
I am here... yeah right here.

I am now here in Milano for the 4th day. It's very great here. I enjoy the weather the buildings, the shops and of course the food here. I also had a very nice meeting with a friend of mine, Richard Gorman, an Irish artist (we haven't seen for about 2 years), holding a new exhibition now in Ireland. He was so kind to introduce us (me + K) to his studio. After we had talked about art and his work we went to dinner in a local Italian restaurant. It was so great (and maaaany Japanese people there, anyway, everywhere in Milano). I have never eaten such a delicious parma ham. and the spinach was also so delicious.
The last few days we spent with walking through the city of Milan, looking for good Design and nice city districts and alleys. It's really great how much the fashion is home here. I was wondering how such a city would work, a city which concentrates so much on fashion and design, you even see the Memphis design so often. And everywhere you see large posters os Armani, Vogue and Calvin Klein. It's so nice being surrounded by some great fashion photographs.
I hope that some of my photographs will turn out well. Though Italy is somehow very nice to have in color. But as I only photograph b/w...

It's also very good to be in a different country and to get loose from the last few weeks (were I also had fun but also much stress and work). You see many things from distance and enjoy the time. I just started drawing, some random table and chair in this room, and it turned out like this:

this picture is really coming out of the blue, and it's okay quality, nothing special, nothing I could (or would) sell (it's actually no good quality in this photograph from photo booth...^^"). But I think for me this "level" is normal, it's the minimum of the quality I bring (and hopefully I will keep this minimum), is doodling. My aim is to not doodle or draw but to convey something personal via a drawing, it's not depicting the things I see... I want to put some identity in it. I mean this is what art makes special, that it is the view of the person who creates. He shows his world. and all other people (being artist either or other persons) they get the chance to share this view, this world. Things like composition and color, contrast and manipulation are also playing a great role, but this is another aspect maybe, rather the weapons of the artist (haven't elaborated this thought yet)...
I admire people who can imagine their own world, who create something out of their mind, and maybe also combining it with the real world.
I am on a level where I still have to find my style (it feels like that), and dammit, I have to stick to one thing or few things a little more and not letting everything down which I just started to do.

hm.